第八曲：水。空气。太阳

我对你的情感似水，
水般透明，是因为你并不察觉它的存在。
水般重要，我很想让你觉得没了我，你会痛苦。
水，如果是我，你会需要我。

空气，无形无味，比起水，
空气来得更多，虽然不被察觉。
我会无时无刻的在你身边
我并不介意这个短暂的忽略。。。

太阳，我想能给你提供力量，勇气
为你照路，让你的生命有了我会有灿烂的阳光。。。

说了那么多，我只是希望真的有一天会成为你的什么。。。
什么都好。

p/s ；惦记你的一天
19/7/07

后记：现在的我。。。只希望你离开以后会不小心的想起我。。。

第七曲：对你的依赖

7th Track~

依赖，依靠
是我想对你做的两件事，凡事问问你-依赖; 凡事都想有你陪-依靠

不知道是否对你的眷恋太过于浓厚，
渐渐的开始依靠幻想与幻觉来跟你接触
渐渐的我开始依赖这种感觉来感受你。
开始对你有依恋了。

总是习惯了，睡前想你一点点，一直想到睡着，
这样的夜虽然煎熬可是却有一种，一整夜你都在我身边的感觉。。。

我真怕，我对你的情感有一天让你发现，会是你的负担。。。
但矛盾的我，同时期待你发现这个人对你的感觉。。。

现在的你在做什么呢？
有没有好好的？
会不会想起我这个无聊人? 不会吧？
祝你快乐

18/7/07

后记：我看我想你想到怪怪的。。。 我会努力控制不去让你知道，你快要离开了。。。我不可以是负担，我的喜欢不可以是累赘。

第六曲：幻想爱

Track 6 -Love of lusion-

我得了对你的幻想爱
无时无刻的幻想你的出现
幻想你的陪伴
幻想你的味道
幻想你的言语
可是你为什么只是幻想？
真正实在的陪伴，我感受得到
真正实在的味道，我嗅得到
真正实在的言语，我听得到
都是在幻想几时成真我只能期待。。。
希望有机会，回忆，感受，拥有着你的陪伴，你的味道，你的言语
你的拥抱
你的疼惜
你的爱
你的我
我的你
我不单单只要幻想，我认了，我贪心。。。

17/7/07

后记：很多时候，好像都是仅仅幻想而已。。。 你却源源不绝的提供给我幻想下去的泉源。。。

Hory's Perspective

Yup.. I thought I had giving up blogging over here. Why ? the answer is damn simple, coz I cant blog in Chinese. This point had make me feel like so meaningless to blog. Agian, another why? English can bring out what I mean as well, but not as well as Chinese. Chinese words seriously can represent my feelings better than any form of whatever... haha~ but yet, the pity thing is I got to blog in english for this while as I dunno what happended to my comp, and I still not so willing to reformat it, so I got to bare with the consequences that cannot blog in Chinese.. Hory nag alot.. he is a old whore who like to repeat n repeat boring stuff...

Chinese New Year had come to the tail part.. end soon.. as I used 2 different days to finish up this.. kinda of lacking ideas recently.. During this still on going Chinese New Year.. I go back home as well.. but this year is a little harder than before for me.. Im sick on the 29th of the Lunar Calender... until now Im still attached with the cough *cough* *cough**cough*.. the 11th of New Year of the Lunar Calender.. I sicked one year appX.. wtf? *blurp*

Same old house , same old ppl.. different attitude.. this year I kinda of taking ppl as they are transperant to me.. I choose not to see those who will make me feel not good... I closed up my ears for those words that will irritate me... I choose cliped my my lips to those I dun wish to talk much~ yup.. I do feel more relax that way... atleast I dun have to make myself shitty with those unecessary negetive feeling... Im happy for my ownself not for others.. but I do felt sorry for my mom.. I can nvr speak well to her.. even I wanted to.. I seriously wonder.. izzit we had to crash n crush each other then only we can live? hard to think... I'll try my best to understand u .. hopefully u will be doing it oso... both of us are strong head ppl.. with sturburn monkey ass...

Back to the thingy I interested the most recently.. hooho.. Edison Chan Sex Photo Scandal~ You might think that why Im writting it as well? haha.. that's why my title is Hory's Perspective... I do felt pity for those who involve in the case.. n yet I feel so weird to those ppl who keep on blaming them for having those photo.. HEY PPL ! HOW IF ONE DAY U SEE ANOTHER SIMILAR PHOTOS UP THERE, BUT IS NOT TAKEN BY CELEB.. haiya.. normal porno pic nia ma.. I think this whould be what u think.. human being are just like to 'mengheboh heboh'.. just because they are famous so izzit that they can have sex? OMG... we are selfish~ But I do understand some ppl say that Edison is 'To Sui Gah' he causes those celebS having a hard time now but padan that he causes the leakages.. haha.. he have SEX WITH DIFFERENT GIRLS.. so ? It his choice to have sex ma.. samo I think sex is something give n take.. if no one willing to give? how he can get it? so ? now izzit those ppl reacted to loud on that happening is becoz that they are jealous n do not have the chances to have sex with their goddess celebs? n jealous that Edison can have them all.. and keep photo as souvinour? I bet if u have a chance to fuck any celeb.. u would take down some pic to show off gua? for more detials n informations.. pls refer to ... http://www.thegutterpost.blogspot.com/

By the way, pilihan raya that comes 5 years once.. had conquer the newspapers.. those rapist, mudered case as not as important as the pilihan raya.. ppl should only cares about the pilihan raya only meh? .. if u ppl do ur job all the time... y now must 'mengheboh heboh' agian leh? Im not saying that pilihan raya is not important.. who will win? semua orang tau-tau la~ just that I already 'muak' seeing those faces appear on the headlines.. but those real headlines hilang bersih-bersih~ haiz~ it is my perspective agian~

Many ppl will think that my thinking is so terpesong ad.. haha.. who cares? *blurp*

~My perspective is mine~

Anyone Who Had A Heart

Atomic Kitten Is Back with their new single - Anyone Who Had A Heart

HeartBreak X3

2 post in a day.. the productivity was a good one... lots of craps to pour over here.. and so sucks than my comp cant type in chinese... (y? i dunno y)... But I can sure that my mood is damn not fine..


I hate being treat like a stuff.. something that got no right to choose but being compare n choose.. but I cant help it even I dislike it, it happens so often .. twice in a month time.. be accurate- less than a month...

what to do? life are getting more n more downward sloping as I come to the end of the lunar calender of the Piggy.. should be getting better de ma... y so fuck up de? my mind is so mess up until ? I cant be clear what should I say... I cant function well... give a list to check up all the problems... or else no one would understand what im mumbling bout.. included me, myself...

1) Heartbreak over J* is worsening... I wonder why.. saffocating...
2)Feel so hopeless over having a nice relationship in 2008... like now.. no one is beside me.. those who understand me cannot understand me as well as before.. am I the one who closing up my mind n heart? I got a feeling like ppl around me keep on lying to me.. cheating over me..
3)I easily get jealous recently... might be cause by what I want I cant have... or not deserve to have
4)HJ is leaving M'sia to go after good life... me? haha.. not worth to be in the memory.. upset...
5)My comp.. one of my best companion.. has come to the twilight days... time to reborn..
6) I cant type chinese... y? ask my comp la.. I cant blog la..
7) Streamyx connection got problem? or my comp got problem? or IM THE PROBLEM?
8) Exam time.. heartbreak + comp down + dissapointment.. how to study?
9)A GREAT THANKS TO MISS NG WHO LIKE TO MESS UP WITH ME... SWC with or without me ? same nia...
10) IM SICK...

if I going to complain .. I can make up an infinity list of it.. lifes get me tired n worthlesss.....

heartbreak heartbreak heartbreak... )(*&*%^%#$%&^&*

~FUCK IT ALL OUT~

Bad Things Does Happen Always

Weee~ apa mau cakap now? haha... now only I started to believe the phrase

THE MORE HOPES U PUT INTO, THE MORE DISSAPOINTMENT U WILL GET

highlight to see the phrase above

my resolution are stated down there... I wish it happen all the time when I was awake or asleep ( honestly, it is just almost...). But I think reality is still a reality.. dream so much for what? got money meh?

Y am I saying such things? haha.... let kick a start from the movies I had watched in cinema recently.. the duo...

CLOVERFIELD.. I was so expecting that Im going to get a good movie with my friends, before I bring myself in the cinema. I seriously cant describe my feeling with words after watching it... should be the worst movie I ever watch.. Want me to decribe the movie? SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE like the end of the world...until me n my friends get so dizzy watching it and need to rush home for rest... the movie just making us feel sick.. no plot , no story just shake...OH YA! nearly forget.. on the half way we enjoying the shaking, the classic one.. the films cought on fire and we need to be waited for 30 minutes to continue the shakey movie.. no refund, no apologize, no drinks while we are waiting... good? 1st hope falls

BY THE NAME OF THE KING... was a second movie i watch in the past week, just after the day I enjoyed the shakey movie... I have high hopes on it before I watched it, coz I always enjoy those movie which got some magics like NARNIA or LORD OF THE RING S.. fantasy fantasy.... I get BORED in the cinema, 2 hours of the movie seems like 2 century long... I keep on have the feeling of ' am I in here for 2 hours only meh? It seems like more than that ad wo' hahaha... my friends keep on watching his watch n handphone instead of the screen... we nearly split our saliva to the screen..when we see the action n those fantasy charecters... is like WOW.. copied from where where where... isn't it familiar like the what what what... Gallion fighting n Krugs are sucks inside out... 2nd hope falls

DO check my resolution below, did u see the 3rd resolution? hahaa... it is the 1st to fall me off.. fast n furious man~ merely get choaked because of relationshipS.. hahaha.. put a words that can describe myself the best 'BITCH'.. after the lesson on Christmas n New Year Eve ( thanks to W*) .. today I faced 2 at 1 time neh~ how geng... J* n H* thanks for teaching me 'time n tides wait for no man' , u missed it.. haha ur problem lo, cry oso 'no road use' ad lo... so what I can advice is.. dun ' tiao geh' means dun jual mahal, when ppl ask you to be their lover, dun think , dun 'tiao geh' and said let it flow naturally or let me know u better... I can assure u, u will be MIA ( missed in action) in the next moment... offer urself fast, dont think... sms them call them even u still got a few cents in ur hp... it is worth more than a few cents.. take it serious, contact the one in ur heart after reading this, ur wish will be granted.. hahahah my 3rd n 4th hope falls...

I think it must be the curse I put on myself causes this, no new relationship before I finish carried out my promise.. only myself know what is that curse... swt lo...

第五曲：对你的问题

你今天过得好吗?
你吃饱了没？
你在做么？
心情好吗？
有好多好多的问号，
不知道会不会有一天，
你会一一认真的回答我。。。
我想知道的不是你今天好吗？你吃得饱不饱？
我想知道的是你有收到我的关心，思念吗？
对你有一千一万零一个问号？
一千一万零一个怎么办？
一千一万零一个你好吗？
有超过一亿一千一万零一个问号，思念，关心，疼惜。。。
想你的一天。。。

15/07/2007

后记：全部问号没有一个问了。。 都死光光了。。 可是对你的感觉依然存在。。。 你还好吗？

第四曲：我的天使，我是否也能当你的天使？

你的出现，让我看见什么是期待快乐幸福的感觉，

你就像天使般的靠近我的心，

却挥动你的现实翅膀，正远离我，

好希望会有机会想念你身上我从不知道德幸福味道。

是否有一天，你是我的天使，我也是你的天使？

即使是一个后备尔等天使，我也不会介意吧？

想念你是多么的开心甜蜜与痛苦，

天使，你快点再出现好吗？

我快要迷路了！

我跟你的距离应该不只是一颗心那么近吧？

好想有机会好好努力的爱你。

12/7/07

后记：本来说必须尽快的把它们都放上来。。 看来现在的我又可以慢慢来了。。。 太快与太慢间我总捉不着最平衡的点，所以我还是输。

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year

well well well... I'm doing my review on 2007... What can I say is OMG ... it ended, fast or slow? haha, sometimes fast sometimes slow.. Should I do a pointless review or a smooth going one? ok .. I'll make it like this way, I wont talk bout my relationship.. coz all gone bad ..wakakak..
1st was thinking doing it a nice and smooth plus grumbling and grandmother storieSSsss blog of mine.. 2nd, I changed my mind~ wakaka..
What had done on 2007:-
1) I got my 1st salary ~ over thousand, means is the 1st time I work, in BBS
2)Anual Dinner at KL~ was a happy n fun one~despite and forgive that idiot ( big mouth )
3)I started my college life~ so ?
4)SPM result sucksSSssSS~
5)Got a new HP~ W810i
6)Relationship~ as a summery.. it really sucks inside out~ WTF to 2007's relationship
.......
.....
...
..
.
no more grandmother's point form~ it bored me
good things does happen in 2007... I got a memorable Christmas over Gurney with all the sprays, foams, funs and memories... thanks to all my classmates n those I know them.. or some that I dunno.. Whoever, A thanks to you~
Get a new life in 2008~ YOOooHoOoo~ RESOLUTION~
1) HANDSOME + SLIM+ NO MORE PIMPLY~ I m serious with every words
2)Get Rich
3)Got a good relationship.. atleast something memorable~
4)Luck in everything~I seriously need them.. just dunno where they had actually hide
5)Be Healthy always.. seems like health does not mean that much to me .. y m I putting such an important things at 5th resolution.. whack myself~
6)Turn to be more Clever... and Matured.. tho, Im clever.. must be more clever...perasan meh?
........
....
..
.

Thats all GUA~ haha.. i cant really remember all the things happen in 2007(not willing to remember much oso..) and I cant actually list out all my resolution.. it wil l show how greedy am I....
ALL THE BEST TO MYSELF
p/s.. i coloured my hair redish~ OOooooOO .. haha

第三曲：等你就在这里

等你。就在这里
就算明天会刮起大风
等你是我能给的承诺
就算明天会下起雷雨
我会在这里冒着雨等你
我在街角等你
等你转到我这里
虽然知道你不一定拐这个湾
但是我会等你，就在这里
多少次我和你
我都只是静静的不知会你
怕我会坏了你的游戏
我说了等你，就在这里。。。

10/07/2007

后记：所以后来你没有拐了过来，我却坏了你的游戏。我game over了， 没有得回头了。昨天遇见你，可是我逃避了你，因为我怕你。。。 很想快点上完，然后放下你。。 容锌！加油！！

第二曲 ：思念你的雨季

下雨了吗？我的心病了，它感冒了
它被你的思念沾满了
当我们一天一天 一步一步的远离对方
你会不会在离开时
再回头看看一切开始的巴士站？
看看正坐在石椅上等待着你的那个我?
我有太多太多想对你说
我怕说了以后，一切都会改变
只怕对你的爱恋，只会变成你的包袱
到最后只怕想再偷偷喜欢你
都已经变得不再可能了
X ~ 我想你

08/07/2007

后记：看回这篇总觉得有点甜甜的，虽然我到了尽头可是它还是我人生的过程。。。 谢谢你让我思念过~

Reunion

Yup! As what I wrote on above, someone has came back from the far far away kingdom ( got to sit plane de neh!) - Australia... Guess who? haha, the famous cartoon from Japan! Ang ang ang .. Doraemon a.k.a Shinny! Think of asking him for lunch few days ago, but I dragged until today.. enough for those bla bla bla...

It was a tiring day, atleast for me it was... i would like to share how much journey I had undertake today, it seriously like a marathon of my life~

Well, well, well!! Altho it was tiring, I still manage to had lots of fun from it... It was like meeting back the secondary me, brainless n shameless... By standing beside with two of the gigantic maniacs, I had finally realise that ish ish ish .. IM A SHORTY, not counted in cm but a head or one and half head...ish .. no manners la both of you! Stand far away from me.... Shinny's part, he slimmed lots.. n more sensible with fashion compare to last time ( he made me look so not sensible...), still with his killing height... what else .. HE CHANGED LOTS... smoker!! He is fucking good with his sunshining tactics.. Loads of perfumes n others branded clothes... * Jealousy*... tho had a good time with him oso ..

Another exciting thing happened... I met something that had totally changed my mind set bout studying aboard... Emily , The evil or weirdo girl ? nah.. I can hardly recall... Well Emily... the english in her was functioning so fucking damn well... In a sentence, if i need to cancel off those sweet words, i think it would be left, I U WE THEY other else would be those *toot* & *tuuuuut*. Altho not much communication had carried out between me and her, coz we are kinda of disconnected all the time, she is energetic and daring... She would be a great friend if I can get closer to her.. but I think there is gaps between me n she.. A BIG one..

Here I share my driving journey of today ( 17 Dec 07):

Home ( everything started here) - TARC (English) - McDrive Tru(Filet-o-fishy) - Home ( took missed out assignment for Etta) - BHP(for petrol) - Air Itam ( for food) - TARC( drop Etta for her QS) - Shinny's House( where i first look at him after this while, he is old) - Gurney -TARC( which Im so clever to go back for Macro) - Shinny's House ( chit n chat) - Subaidah( Canai!) - Emily's house( few steps away from TARC) - Batu Ferringi( Night Market, gosh~ It rains) - 7-11 ( TARC nearby) - A few mistaken lorongs - Emily's House - Gurney( here I come agian) - Shinny's House( complete my job as a driver) - Home ( finally)

P/S : thanks for the billabong's pencil case...

-end-

tireness kills...

第一曲 ：思念着你的迷宫

静静的享用与你共同拥有的阳光
很高兴能够有一些和你共同拥有的东西
拥有了就像拥有了一切

在喧哗的街道
大声地说出对你的情感
我的告白就是让你听见的幸福

患上了缺乏幸福病的鱼，需要缺乏幸福的人来治疗
爱需要双倍的力量
你的躲迷藏却把我的力量都小心翼翼的偷走

可能播着你最讨厌的歌时
我却又一丝丝的回忆你的甜蜜

多个午后故意不小心得邂逅
让它变得是一个很有意义的途站
我会站着等待下一趟的巴士
期待邂逅再重演一遍

这一演就不要下画了，好吗？
你在我的迷宫里过得好吗？
我会努力的把你找出来
可以吗？让我爱昵好吗？
我好想你。。。

７／７／０７

后记：把以前写给你的东西都放上来，希望你会看到。。。　过了那么就，我还是放不下你。。。　答应自己，把写过的一篇，一篇放上来，放完的那天应该会是我放下你，展开翅膀飞的那天。。。

压抑

压抑- 利用强烈的手段来控制自己的情绪。。。

压力好像不只你有而已， 所以请你不要放大自己的; 同时也请尊重我的压力及排遣压力的方式。

知不知道当我面对压力时是需要支持及聆听而不是被人喋喋不休的一直碎碎念，告诉我，提醒我要做什么不要做什么。什么是应该什么是不应该，难不成十八岁的我不懂得分辨吗？怪到我家的马桶去。。。

最近很压抑自己了，一个星期内发生了好多的事要我怎么去面对？七天，一个小型活动必须在两天内解决，125 张票需要在一天内买光，可能吗？因为不可能所以只卖了半数多点，在加上行程紧迫所以活动并不是搞得很好。还被前任主席标榜为最差的活动之一。失望只还有两字就是失望咯。。。被顾问批得一分不值，那么厉害又不见你来做？少来放屁！！隔天还要测验咯。。。时间是被晃掉吗？

七天，两个测验，两个报告要交。。。因为没有时间，所以拜托了同学兼校内好友帮忙帮忙，没问题我是从来不相信。我能帮的我就尽力帮，可是总觉得东西一直往我这里推。说的话又好像有点不被重视，甚至被忽略。。。 人与人之间太多太多令人想不开的问题。所以我也不明白自己那天为什么遇到瓶颈就选择逃避。。。请原谅我的失控！ 对不起~

回到家却又想往外逃， 你要我怎么逃呢？测验都没读好，我想都死硬硬了。。。明天的，根本就读也不会，不读也是不会。。。算了吧~

想哭好多天了，甚至想崩溃。。。 可是我明白我是要坚强点，所以我不哭，也不能崩溃了！更不想逃避，越逃越痛苦。。。

快要参选主席了，收拾心情，打起精神~我真的必须加油了~突破瓶颈！ 拒绝悲伤，挑战困难！

深吸一口气。。。 海阔天空~