The Forbidden

haha.. You are the forbidden one.. later you date me out for movie this time will be watching the "Forbidden City" in chinese which is the King Of Kung Fu.. hasha..

This week I been having a roller coaster mood, well.. can I blame on fully on that?
A second I am happy because we were communicating, smsing.. blah blah blah...
A second later Im worried..
A second later Im sad...
A second later Im angry..
A second later Im happy..
A second later Im cheerful..
A second later Im crying...
A second later I realise that you are really important for me...

well.. now Im damn happy.. as later we will going for movie again..
see you later..

ANNOUNCEMENT

my blog temporary is updating post that I created in the past but havent post up.. going to finish it n post up.. n it is quite messy at this moment.. please be patient..

haha.. wondering who will read this?

p/s no comment on this post pls..

Mixture

Well well well.. yesterday was a good day, nice day for me.. We are going for movie in less than 24 hours again, after the 3 kingdoms.. this time was the long time waited movie of urs " Ah Long" which I watched it, I think month ago.. I got no complain bout it, the feeling of watching it again is better than the 1st time.. Maybe u are beside me, who knows? haha

I was in my house- Gurney at 2.45 and u arrived at 3.45.. I think... having a sweet waiting time.. well, incase of too bored waiting.. I always sitting at my so called wife kiosk talking non-sense with her.. haha.. but while waiting u, I suddenly get very nervous and got the feeling like falling into a black hole. I can hardly smile, tho my wife keep on cheering me.. I got the feeling like Im being abandon in the same mall again.. it was really a hard time n it shadowed me for a long long time... but thanks for whatever, u actually appear...

I swear, at that moment.. I feel like wanna jump upside down, dashing to u.. (self-control conquered me) lucky

You said you are hungry, and wanna have lunch... but I already starv until no feeling ad.. inside all air, so I m contented with air, and not hungry jor.. hahaha... but nvm, you are always the main character, so after a long long dicussion of eating what, we gone to Zing Do..

In Zing Do..
You said you wanna order 2 things but u cant finish all, so I ask u to order what u want, and I share with u lo.. haha.. the reason is, 1st I dunno what to eat, coz it is my 1st time there .. 2nd, can let u eat my saliva =.= haha
3rd, U really seems hungy n I filled up with air n lost my appetide.. Ends up, we ordered Bimbimbap chicken ( izzit spell that way? who cares? ) and a korean fried tang hun ( not bad wo!) 1 green tea, 1 iced lemon tea.. I paid the bill, as Im the one who go n order at the counter, which need to pay before being serve... You gave me the belated birthday present before the food were on the table, haha..It was a Laconic Necklace.. haha, Im loving it so much, it is so nice, neverless it is from you..

you have ur whole bimbimbap chicken and the half fried tang hun.. I have only half of the tang hun.. T.T

before we go for the Ah Long... you bought waffle.. 2 waffle.. tuna and peanut butter ( or kaya ? I not really remember) then 1 bottle of mineral water.. who said you cannot eat much? who said after you ate lots then will puke? you eat more than I can imagine... haha..

In the cinema..
sitting watching the movie like normal la.. but got 1 happening on my own that I shall remember.. my jeans was stuck with the chair.. It was too loose until it fall off till my lap.. I grumble " fuck".. I was so scared that my jean will just drop off.. haha.. u seems like glued on the movie.. luckily... and so lucky that I won the fight between the jeans n the chair... sigh.. well, I peep u more than 5 times in the cinema... n you had finished the waffles.. omg.. the movie is hilarious, and it is more enjoyable than the 1st time I watched it..

after Ah Long..
we loiter around in the Gurney.. chit chat abit.. yaya.. look for sunglasses.. as mine was broken, n it is extremely important for me while driving.. nothing suits me, nor at Queensbay or Gurney... we go around those outfit outlets...

At Soda
I know u liked the white cargo, but I cant afford it yet.. hahaha.. can't help much

At Phenomenal..
you are trying outfit in the fitting room, a singlet, a long sleeves, a pair of white long pants ( I dunno it is a cargo or jean or what?).. I noticed that u like white long pants alots.. while u are trying those outfits.. I was in another fitting room trying to peep wear the necklace that you gave it to me.. poor me... no skills and I cant find a way to wear it.. u noticed it.. but we act like nothing.. I "am dui"...

then you go Versace talk with ur friend.. haha.. I m bored inside there.. those prices are far beyond my ability.. haha.. then I sneak out to the wishing well (the real name is money sucker well) haha.. I dropped my last syilling which is a 5cent, my wish cheap hor? haha seeing it roll n roll before dropped into the big hole..
the wish was repeated, it is the same with my second wish on my birthday..

After you finished talking with ur friend, I said I wanna go toilet and nonsense wear the necklace, you say you wanna see it as well, and you volunteer to wear it for me.. hahaha.. my heart was flying all around the world for 100times in a second.. haha.. it was the BEST OF THE BEST MOMENT of my life, when u actually tied up the necklace around my neck in the public, not so public.. hang fuk nia man.. SS..

well, your friend was here and ready to take u to buffet.. I know and you know what is in his mind la.. haha.. but since u promised him that you will go.. haha.. I should not stop you, and I got no rights to stop you.. I remember :

You: Wanna join the buffet or not?
Hory: Dun wan la, later become spot light ( actually I wanted to go but no money and so paiseh) then he beh syoik and kill me with knife..
You: Wont de la..
Hory : How if he thinks that we are couple?
You: BETTER STILL

OMFG.. this should be quoted in the rest of my life.. hahaha..

The eventho I dint follow you to the buffet.. but I sent you out till the friend car.. waving a goodbye to you, then seeing you go in the car.. and go.. I wanna shout out loud " JUST STAY HERE!!!" but I dint.. well, a moment that from heaven falling to the hell, 19 floor below.. I really dun like or even hate it everytime you talk bout him, good or bad I oso dun like, I really hate seeing you going into his car.. even worst when Im the one who sent u to his car.. fuck my self gao gao

Movie n Makan in my account.. haha.. money leakage are more serious jor.. nvm la.. it is worth more than worth..

after sent u off, I back to wife kioks n talk with her till she finished the work at 10 and fetch her home lo.. I talked bout you alot infront of her.. I know she dun like it, but I got no others to tell.. sorry la my wife..

After we reach her home.. I really feel like Im just a stranger to anyone in this world.. I talked until I sob in the car.. she got shocked abit la, but she reacted quite fast.. I felt like Im a stranger to everyone, my family, friends or even you.. with or without me, the world of you guys still having on the same track, I felt very bad that actually my appearace counldn't make a different, not even a small one.. I really feel bad... I just need someone shoulder which I can feel that Im important at once..

You called twice while Im sobbing.. you will not know de.. haha, coz I act so well.. haha.. you wanted me to join (or can said as safe) you to clubs but Im broke ever since my birthday.. n I dun like clubbing.. I cant make it.. Im sorry.. I feel even worst when I know that you are going to club... I went home.. reach home at the hour of 11 something..

Tired n hungry.. Eat only half of the tang hun in the whole day... no breakfast no lunch no dinner, just half plate of tang hun.. so I cooked a packet of "HarMee", my recent favourite.. haha.. then back to my bed, after a while of online..

Im glad that you actually called back when you see my missed call...
Im happy that you gave me a present...
Im happy that you have become more real in my life...
Im happy that you volunteer to wear the necklace for me, I think I will nvr take it down...
Im treasuring you as much as the king treasuring the crown, without the crown, the king is nothing...

Yesterday, 12 April 2008.. A memorable day in my life.. yet it is quite a sad day for me for thinking back those very bad things and sob infornt of wife..

I Think this mixture of mood proove that Im having Dissociative Idendity Disoders

Happy Expectation

will going for another movie later.. Ah Long Pte Ltd another time!!! I got no grumble or tak syoik watching it again, but in fact I am more happy and have more excitement!! I just cant wait to go for the movie.. haha

Just saw you yesterday night, later I am going to see you again! haha... Part of my huge fantasy come true... tho is a small piece of it, I m glad that it actually come real.. I dun expect more to happen coz I know the level...but yet, let me enjoy this moment to the max..

Sign off with smiles..
I love April, and you are the apple in my eyes

Hory

I Love April

I just back from the movie - 3 kingdoms.. haha.. I am so happy...

We are friends now, no longer stranger.... Im hoping for more but I know it merely can be realistic...

Talked alots in car.. ur relationship, ur exes, u perspective and others.. I wish not to drop u home so early

haha..

Keep on telling myself cannot show it obvious..

I have a really meaningful evening..

Thanks for everything...cant wait for tmrw movie again with you..

Report on 4/8

I know I know.. I still cant get over it.. Im still in birthday mood...

Seoul Garden at 7/4
with my class buddies : Beh Chuin Hong.. Estella Phing... Sherene Ang...
Thanks for treating me that so called expensive birthday meal wo.. haha..

8/4.. My Birthday!! My Birthday!! haha..
I knew Etta wanna do something for me.. I just diam diam n wait for the so called surprise that she wanna gave to me.. haha.. i already ready for what is coming.. haha..

Espected, she bought a banana cake for me, and NEARLY everyone in class sing da Birthday song for me..haha..the cake was sliced in to many pieces n distributed jor... haha... thanks Etta... I really aprreciate it~ :)

In the same day, Me n Sherene n Hoay Phing skipped class, and we heading to Queens Bay Mall.. hahaha.. Birthday got all the exception la K? even not in birthday, I oso got myself exception de lo haha... We have our lunch at Sakea Sushi.. haha.. I spend money like a rich ass.. haiz haiz.. who ask me to have a Birthday?

At Night... haha... wanna go Sushi King as they got the members promotion haha.. Rm 2 for every plate on the belt wo.. of course I wanna go la.. haha.. so here we go with Elisa n Ven Xiang.. but but but the Sushi was so crowded with all those cheap chaser.. included us.. until We cant wait any longer n proceeded to the BBQ chicken to have my last meal on my birthday.. hahaha.. I love my 19 Birthday the most.. haha

9/4.. birthday over le.. but Im so in Birtday mood.. haha.. cannot a? Due to yesterday we couldn't make it for Sushi King Cheap Sales... We go for second time.. haha who ask that we are Penang ppl, who like cheap cheap de food leh? hahaha.. I got it, Sushi King.. hahahaha

Im so dump happy

I m very dump dump happy.. just 10 minutes before.. we talked on phone more than 2 hours.. hahaha.. just because of that, Im so dump happy.. hahaha

just like that

habislah report saya

Terimah Kasi

Happy Birthday

OMG~ IM OFFICIALLY 19

1 minutes

60 seconds later, Im officially 19..

Im counting down it in this blog...

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2 minutes

2 minutes later, is my birthday..

Who am I for this long 18 years?
now Im going to be 19? what am I going to be?
without me, any difference in this world?
without me? then who are u?

lots of question mark appears 2 minutes before my birthday...

1/2 hour

Half an hour later will be my 19 years old birthday... ImOLD still young... haha.. yet before the clock strike on 12.. Im still 18.. 18 POK POK CHUI




Preparing for my last 18 wishes and prayer.. Hopelly ALL will turn out in real life ...

I should live my life to the MAX at the age of 19.. it is the last year of my teenage life.. haha..

still 18 .. still 18.. still 18... still 18.. Im still POK POK CHUI.. pok pok chui~

When U and You

Thanks for appearing in my life..
Thanks for attending my birthday..
Thanks for everything...especially you walked to buy me the stone hard ice-cream cake..
There is a moment which I feel like wanna hug u tight and tell you, you need no to do so, you habitated in my heart long ago...

You are not my lover...
Im still a stranger...

Thanks you for making U and you meeting a circle success..

Treasuring u as much as the king treasure his crown..

G-Hotel+Jade Palace+Momo = Hory's Birthday

Yup Yup Yup.. Hory just celebrated his birthday like a rich baby pros kid.. all my 18 years appearing on this world, this could be the best birthday I could ever have.. I had thrown half a thousand just for having a great time with all my close buddies.. well, I just love how it works out, and I felt that I did not waste the money.. haha.. Presents are best of the best as well...

G-HOTEL
Yep.. this is the all time favourite hotel of Hory.. at 1st I was intended to book a Deluxe room, which is 2.6 hundred over.. but I forgotten that my birthday is always near the Cheng Beng one, haha so after I hiong jor, my decendent can celebrate 2 in 1 for me.. so the Deluxe room was fully booked.. T.T but Im rich!! I decided to go for Executive Club Room which is 330.00 per night... it is almost a hundred different!! at 1st I was like wanna cancel it off and saja go makan punya.. but then the desire of staying in G-hotel is ways too strong for me to bare with.. money is nothing hahaha... The room was a nice one.. with 1 fridge, 1 room , 1 living room, 1 toilet which is pretty nice for me... I just fall in love with the sofa.. omg.. can I take it home?

This superb nice hotel has gave me so much freebies which attracted me like a aunty attracted to the jewelry

I love the evening cocktails which is for free, as a alcohol lover... Im so in love with it..

I oso got a lovely late check out at 2pm..

n much much much more.. pls.. anyone wanna have a nice n worth hotel stay, I ensure u, G-hotel will be the best!!!!

I will be back G-hotel

the bath tub.. I wish to stay inside forever!!!!


The messy room...

the room was messed up even tho that I act as the room cleaner once, and I gave up!!

I wont paste up the swimming pool pic, coz it is 18sX haha.. I love the swimming pool the most, and the jakuzii as well!!

JADE PALACE

Which is the place I have my birthday dinner, grand leh~ haha one of the most happening restaurant in Penang ( I what oso happening de) I have a good time having dinner over there with 11 buddies... haha.. at this place I have my most happy dinner in my life, I got the most present gifts in my life, I got my most touching moment in my life.. and this is the place I wished my 3 birthday wishes~

Hory which is the hero
Sherlynn, my temporary wife of the day

Elisa, my body guard

Etta, the most enjoy herself one.. SS sangat

Beh, he recommend me this Jade palace dunno he got commision or not ?

Xiang, my all time favourite buddy

Jeremy, Senior.. which walked to buy me the super duper touching cake

Ong Lai, haha.. I just love seeing her with Dai Lou.. miss one out oso cannot..
Dai Lou, hehe.. I always wanna see her mia.. coz she pretty.. haha.. pay me o?

Zhu, my very very very good sister.. I can die for her de..

Ah O, I long time no see her liao..

Absentist

Eddie, grounded by mom

Estella, go back hometown dun wan me jor

Weeyee, no stella no her then no me oso

Sherene, no stella no her then no me oso

Edward, Sherlynn bf, gone for hardwork

much more that I missed out to invite... unsufficient credit ma.. when I rich I invite all lo..

have a look on my lovely cake..

3 Different View of my cakey~ hahaha

MOMO

After waving goodbyes to friends that are just coming over for the dinner, and some fitch & fetch.. We in group of 5 ppl hit to MOMO for some slutty act of my birthday.. haha.. was a nice one... Thanks Beh for the beer that is damning not worth, yet it makes me a fly high happy...

what else can I elaborate in MOMO?

dance like a ass lover?

beer?

yup.. there is a memorable 2 times cheeks 1 time hand.. haha

I met DANDOR outside of MOMO , I remember I did invite u over, but u said u are having exam, but I saw u there.. haha..

there are also a fella name DEAN who is late for meeting me in MOMO by minutes ( I wait no one...) and went home too early before I called him up to come over G-HOTEL

p/s : no pic while MOMO ing..

THE BIG FAMILY PIC

Behind : --> Ong Lai, Ah O, Beh, Etta, Jeremy, Xiang

Font: -->Dai Lou, Zhu, Hory, Sherlynn, Elisa

I would like to sent my deepest thanks to all who gave me birthday wishes, I treasure it alots! and to all my friends that around me, thanks for making me who I'm on this moment, somehow each and everyone of you means something to me, the important something... I LOVE YOU ALL

This Is Not My Territory

Territory - Region, Area, Zone,Sector, Protectorate...

Im out of mental territory.. I cant really control those happening around me, especially those unhappy one, the effect are more obvious... I dunno where I belong to, I dunno where should I go, I dunno who I belong to, I dun like this kind of feeling.. but what can I do with it? izzit time for emo again? haha.. hopefully not..

I dunno how to interact with some of my friends anymore, especially the very very close one, yes is the one.. u get it? haha, now a days.. He go anywhere without me, When I ask him to go out with me.. He already there with friends.. ish.. I really dunno how to place myself, what to do? Now, Im thinking running away from home for a little moment...

In where I stay now, sometimes I felt that Im not belong to here anymore, like an EXTRA.. The feeling is suffocating me. In a way, Im treatening myself agian...

I dunno again, what am I to u? haha.. a friend or a foe? or just a stranger? You probably wont remember me one day..Everytime I think bout this, Im chickened, so much chicken.. buaks.. cockery cock.. bruaks bruaks... haiz..

I got a sucks haircut, there gone my longerie hair.. haiz, when it was long , I hope it short. Now it is short, I hopes that it is long.. what the fucking mind I have? I told the barber Hairstylist, cut it shorted abit, n it turned out he cut it short till left abit... Tears nearly splash out in the salon..

I cant control, Im out of my territory...

How do you cool your lips, after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat, after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes, from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice
You'd know anywhere?
Oh I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive, insensitive, insensitive
How do you numb your skin, after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood, after the body rush?
How do you free your soul, after you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?
Oh you probably won't remember me
It's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell to fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
How to be insensitive
Oh I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive

Insensitive by Jann Arden..

Maybe Im just too sensitive in everything, especially I felt loneliness, I will be even more sulking...

My Words, My Heart

To Your heart :

How should I make a start for u? the one in my life... haha, people says it is hard for u to find someone that u willing to spent ur life with, or even die for.. but yet, I found u.. but it is pretty hard for me. You asked me before, who is the one I admire? haha, I hint u very very obvious.. IT IS U.. haha..but when u ask me is that u ? haha, I tortoised.. haha, y ? Just because I know that u dont love me as much as I love u.. so I dun wan to make u feel stress, I dun wan to make trouble between both of us..

Few years back, when I first see u in school, haha.. I should say I stunned.. haha, u got me ? Stunned.. maybe it sounds stupid to u.. I used to wait u outside the bus stand.. haha.. I peep u.. who cares? haha no one care who I m peeping on.. I got over excited everytime u notice that Im looking at you.. haha, you really shine n glow in my eyes... I enjoy the time where Im sitting at the bus stop, and u standing behind for the shade, it give me a feeling that someone I love is always behind to support me.. duh.. it is just out of my imagination... and u dissapear right after Im form 5, u graduated. I thought I could never find u back...

I still remember how happy Im when I found u back, haha... I get to know u better, atleast I got a second chance... but too bad u told me that u cant believe in love anymore, I was so naive and stupid that believing I'm the one who could help u.. I should hit myself with the words W.T.F!!! U did a small romantic things on my 18 birthday... I was so darn happy, like a retarded.. u sent me a birthday mail.. duh, it is a small one but I nvr told u my birthday before. I asked u so many times how u could knew it? but it seems like remain a mystery forever. I tot everything will be going fine until the day we are going to live happily ever after, but I think I ruined it.. too many bugging, coz I see u no online for over 2 months.. I keep on giving u offline massage, I tot it should be a romantic or a touching act.. but it seems not to be like that, The only reply I get is DONT CONTACT ME ANYMORE, I couldn't believe it, I seriously cannot. It tooks me another 2 months to slowly believe it... I felt that I'm the extra one in ur life, u nvr knwo how many pieces my heart shattered off..

Upon I'm giving up those hopeless hope I have on u, u come back with ur HI. once agian I fall seriously back for u, or I should say I nvr been giving up.. now we are talking more than last time.. which I really glad about it... people say if u wanna get something, u should work hard on it.. how hard should I work ? haha, gods only know bout that.

You are going to Aus for study very very soon, you told me before that you wanna have a whole new life over there, u want to have ur career over there... Possibily, u dun wan to come back anymore. What am I gonna do with it? I take it agian, I dun wan to be the obstacle in ur life, my love it shouldn't be the things which hold u, or trouble... I dun wan to make u feel stress, I cant promise but I will do my best coz u are the one I met in this lifetime, I should treasure u as much as a king treasure his crown.

YOU ARE ALWAYS THE APPLE IN MY EYES.

from : My Heart