平安夜了，我该失身吗？

Am not really a Christmas guy, or be more accurate am not really a festive guy. When I was a kid, my excitement exaggerated, feeling the rush, the happiness of festive especially Chinese New Year and Christmas, cause my dad usually give me big prezzie!

Remember when I was faking my sleep, my dad help me to put on my Power Ranger Watch, got water inside it. Damn Chio..

As I grow older, the more indifferent mood I have toward those special days. As if it is not going to happen again...

Last year, it was just another big excuse for me to run out wildly in club...

This year, I am going to Fake Sister In Law's wedding dinner, if can I might want to rush over

the BBQ~

Should or shouldn't I write down my resolution? I didn't usually resolute my resolution...

Dear Santa, if you happen to visit me tonight, please don't be shock that I didn't hang a sock for you to put in my present... I just wish that I can have a peaceful and wonderful year 2010 coming ahead, wish I can be happy, healthy and wealthy , and this goes to people around me... ain't hard for you, rite?

HAVE A FUN & WONDERFUL
X'mas Eve

ding ding dong ding ding dong~ding ding dong ding ding dong~

微笑的早晨， 我好劲啊！

Please believe that I sleep at 4 am and by norm I shall be waking up around 1pm but I'm excitingly awake at 7.30am...

What a day? I woke up effortlessly early and feeling great!! Wish to have breakfast, any companion? Even my morning class on Friday never able to wake me up at this hour...

I can't help but to feeling CHEERFUL!!!

...Good day...

Evangeline Is Sweet, 许愿吧！

The Princess and The Frog, should have given a better name but despite of that I had great fun watching it. It has been more than a century when I last enjoy a Disney's Princess, never doubt I love one of the soundtrack, but I don't know what is the song title.

I had another movie in the same day as well, which it is the Wind Cloud 2! 风云... like playing those fighting arcade in cinema... Fight till the end... then the movie end tailless... still nice watching it with those very outdone actions and graphics...

Am I aging or what? When I'm watching Wind Cloud, I have a very tired leg, which might be the sigh of sitting too much. Ass having too much affair with cushions...

Back to the main topic I wanna say about, I had a very mix-up feeling today. I had made a very bad move weeks back, which no one can be pin-pointed at but me. I am the one who kinda complicated the situation, and pushed myself into deep shit- smelly shit!

I once have the choice of ending the mess in a very short and best way, but I hesitated and drag on the problem hoping that it will be like those others, gone with the time.

I'm trying too hard to fix it and make it comprehensive to the person, but the neglect attitude of the person make me so troublesome, I felt so sinful and don't know which act is the best for myself and so I gave some damn shit answer when I'm being questioned...

Monday, a very mind troubling day yet a very cheerful day... I purposely make myself occupied so I will have no option when I have to make choices, I am finding tons and tons and tons of excuses to make myself away. Deep in my heart, I prepared for the worst but hoping nothing will ever happen.

Both options aren't the option I will pick, one will make me regret another will make me lost a friend, so called friend... but honestly, I nearly wanna pick up the option that gonna make me regret big time but have some pleasure moments... silly me..

Maybe my wishing to 'Evangeline' are being heard and replied with good deed.. I have my third option which won't happen anything I won't wish it to happen. I kinda ignored everything, meaning I am avoiding the problem again...

Wishing to 'Evangeline' again, problems may be swept under the mat and see no sunshine ever again... till then I am a free soul...

SURPRISE, I'M ASKING FOR!

I wanna hit the club at 1.45 pm, 12 Dec 2009

I'm so in mood!

I'm imagining what's my X'mas present, where I'll be?
...at Fake Dear's sister wedding dinner...

I'm imagining how I'm going to spend my New Year Eve...
I love how I spent it last year

I wanna back to Paris, it has been 10 years since my last visit...
I wanna go travel!

Surprise me please!

by the way,

亲爱的暮岁

Hello December, going to LoVe ya!
Happy World Aids Day
I'm gonna do safe sex tomorrow to show my support, any volunteer?

Everyone Made Mistakes

...and not every mistakes will be forgiven by God, after all we expected too much from him. He is just another evolution of human, and he sometimes is not that merciful and understanding. That is why he enjoy creating mess for us and so we have mess in our life, big mess.

有些坏事非但没有办法回头，却还会纵使我们一错再错。没有人能拉一把，一些是不单只能改变一生，还可以毁人一生。

从不敢说自己会是一个好人。这笔孽帐及时才算得清，我更不敢去想，后果是我无法担贷。这又是一件什么事？我无法交待清楚，能做的就写出来抒发点情绪。。。

发生了好久好久，第一次使我年少无知，接下来却是我的好玩一直到现在变成了一种惯性犯罪。坦白说，我已经失去所谓的罪恶感，至少在当下我是只想完成，越快越好。事后的懊恼，已经是从后悔演变成复仇似的动力。难道这就是犯罪心理，而我现在记录着我的犯罪心得？

很多时候，都能预知自己很快的就要犯罪了。 往往在知道这是做的越多，曝露的罪行会是更严重的可是往往我又告诉自己下次不可以了，又再下次不可以了。最后的最后，我还是没看到它的结尾。能真正了结，看似最快也要两年的时间。我不敢赌说我不会重犯，因为每每有了想法，那很快又是下一次了。

一直都很黑暗的发生着，间中有被察觉不过很快的在否认后又继续下去。如果当初被发现了，我想我现在不会有机会写这一些，后果不必想象，因为根本就是不堪设想。天底下，没有人会认同，更妄说要人原谅。

这事根本对我没一丝一毫的好处，而我根本就依本能去执行我的罪过。我是怎么了？抱着什么心情，态度去面对我的错？我不懂。。。

犯罪后，罪恶感在荡存的时间缝隙，大声地敲击我的良心，不断责怪我的冲动，责备我所犯下的罪行。那缝隙也提供让我逃离现场的理智和时间。没有下一次，下一次却也很血腥的再一次就好。

什么时候才能有个断点？

原来每个人都有犯罪的基因。而我所犯下的过失足以让我坐牢，身败名裂而再也不能抬起头做人。

I'll Never Wish To Be Outside Of You

原来11月真的是一个头脑昏张的月份，回顾了07’ 08’ 年也是没有什么好东西。

08年的11月，我写了这一段文字来做了结。

"Each time, I made a footprint on the ground I should feel that I'm solid.
Each time, I getting better and better, I want everyone to know that I'm vivid.
The glow I have with me, it will not be only spark. It shines through every souls that know me.
I wish I could."

我是否真的做到了？09 年里头，真的不敢奢望自己真的是一个好的朋友。我不再像以前会为朋友之间的琐事烦恼，想尽办法的去解决，去图一个名分叫做我是真心的好朋友。

现在的我，很多时候都不愿去争辩，朋友觉得是就是，不是就不是。不觉得解释了，会见得冰释前嫌,反而有了一种回不了头的感觉。

人来人往，留下的会是什么？有一个回忆关于我的，是好是坏还计较得了那么多吗？

最近，总是人前快乐，人后愁，那又是为了什么？夜半，总是很难安然入眠。碾转间发现自己沉重了许多，背负的事情是不是一两句寒暄能减轻？那我能不能不断的和镜子里的我寒暄多几句。抱怨太多，也不见得能减轻多少。别人看不见的，我不能也忽视，反而我必须很尽量，很尽力，非常拼命的完成。或者换句话说，当别人不断的在我身上绑上所谓的期望，我却不能刻意松绑，反而有种需要背负着它们一同去完成我的人生。

其实我不太明白我在表达些什。。。

我们之间，曾几何时是那么的无芥蒂的混在一起。现在的我们又是怎样了？

我真的很认真地扮演着一个好朋友的角色。努力的我，努力的让身边的人因为认识了我而有了一点不同。我不敢说我是最好的，我也没有很尽力，可我真的有很努力， 说穿了，还不是希望死了以后，灵堂上热闹点，死了也有面子。

不写了。。。 这篇东西越写越没有意义，只是越写越令我烦闷，暴躁！很明显的，我的语文水平下滑的很令人诧异，尤其是华语。对不起，祖宗十九代！

理不开的思绪

烦闷。
总是很想写好多好多，却没有很清晰的头脑。

我患上了A.N.X.I.E.T.Y

James

Hey, be good over there. Reserve a nice place for me, mean while you make great friends there...Promise you will show me around when I'm there.

I won't mourn for you. We'll somehow see each other again.

Hate is when you hug me in public,
Hate it when you bite me so hard,
Hate it when you make fun of me.

somehow, the day we meet again 请你大大力的咬我。

till then, I will be missing you.

Where's My Party Mood?

Where's my party people go?
Where's my party people go?

They gone halloween, hard party, with delicious liquor...

Cheers!!!!!

I'm not there... still can't relate myself to halloween...

HAPPY ANG MO's CHENG BENG

流星

I tell you what, the god gonna punish me for my greediness... but hopefully he is mercy enough to spare me a good life.. I do not wish for much, but only the list stated.

Contact Lenses--- I can't live a smooth life with them
New Converse--- My old shoes are aged, time to die
New Belt--- My belts are worn out a bit, and wanna add more variety
Contact Lenses Solution--- To ensure I live a smooth life
Cleansing Bar--- For cleansing
Spectacles--- 4 years old's dude needs retirement plan
Headphone--- I literally destroyed mine
Fixing My Babe--- Ken Ken has too much bruises
More Shorts--- I always wears the only one or two, felt bored
More Jeans--- I only wear my favorite, felt bored as well
Shades--- Panda shape no longer fits me, or I just realize that fact
More T-shirts--- New blood to wardrobe
More Shirts 格子--- My hard crush on them
New Perfume--- CKfree, My love, My Life... Applicious just buried
Money Money Money--- Essential solution of all
Lays--- Important when I'm pps-ing
Stationary--- To enrich my pencil case, don't like it looks empty
Hoodie--- I have no hoodie, feel like owning one
Cap--- Cover my popular face
Wallet--- Feel like tearing the current one into pieces
Rings--- I had 12, now I has 0
Head&Shoulder Shampoo--- Wash my silk on top of my head
Mask--- My face is cracking
Haircut--- Trust me, pigeon is laying eggs on it, peace!
New Bags for College--- Confession of a show off kid
Shaving Cream--- To decorate my ice-cream
Shaving Blade--- Cut grass in yard
Watch--- Countdown for the end of world

Blessed be.

We Shared, We Growth, We Are Friend

...and still friend-ing in the long future. I foresee.

期许我们是朋友，不是短暂的缘分。
我没有太多的文字来回应你，可是你要知道我是爱你的。

Be still, every moment,
by the name of friends, I will always beside you. I promise.

阳光是温暖的，笑容是灿烂的

I never thought today gonna be a good good day. I had the worse to the worst expectation of the day, just spray out my tears on my bed.

Things went pretty fine. I have Sunshine~

After so many days of home self-quarantine due to my own financial fault! yeah~ Blame me!
I have so much fun chit chatting with Fake Dear inside Coffee Bean, with the name of helping her do assignment, but I do help... Did I?

At the time, I was so worry about my mood.

Meeting them, those I missed deep deep inside cinema. Watching a Boar running, banging, crushing people is not scary at all, indeed it is funny... I realize that I'm getting bolder day by days.

I love the "Ohhhhhhhhhh~~~~~" we have it together when the guy got his ass hurt.

Loving every moment in Coffee Island :) I just have my heart warmed, forget about those messy worries, disturbing thoughts.

To a friend named Condom,

我们需要冲动去喜欢一个人
我们需要理智去决定爱一个人
爱过就好，笑一笑，没烦恼


腳步重心口痛你開始淚流
太明白在未來已不能遷就
應驗了一開始有人說我們一定不會長久

淚乾了各自走不會有挽留
現在就放開不會再牽的手
沒有錯我們並沒有錯只是走不到最後＊

從頭到尾安靜的承受
分開的默契我們都有
所有的想念和問候
留作以後朋友代口

當時間緩緩流走
已不適合再開口
背影隨沉默拉長
所有答案都在心上

當時間緩緩流走
會代替我們開口
寂寞再回到身旁
愛情留待別人遇上＃

時間會代你開口

not so related, but those highlighted lyrics are for you.

Condom ar~ Condom tho you have cloudy day, but thanks for giving me a SUNNY day.

Saw the light on, but it doesn't as bad as I feel. Sadly, I have a thought.

SO WHAT? I HAVE A ARMY BEHIND ME, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN EVEN YOUR ROOM IS ON FIRE!

I Kept My Memories In Luggage

离开就好了，别回头了。
我已经祝福你了，我很努力了。
可是我还会怕我不及格。

不亮灯的房间，已经是我的一种安慰。让我不自觉地埋没你。
你不回来好吗？ 我坦白，我怕亮灯的房间会瓦解我。
我更怕遇见你。真的很怕。
就算我懦弱。

我不哭，我不可以哭。
我不会哭。我不要哭。
我不愿哭。我不想哭。
就连你给的回忆，我想一想就会哭。

我不会去数黑黑的车，我不会转头看你的房灯，
我不会在再绕一大圈，我不会回忆快乐的回忆，
我不会十点半吃东西，我不会查你给我的信息，
我不会想念你的味道，我不会再品尝你的唇瓣，
我不会走到你家楼下，我不会看见留下的剪影。
我却没有不会所有我想不会的事物回忆还有你。

讨厌自己的懦弱，我明明不是受害者。因为我不可以是受害者。
我是战士，被你击倒后会站起来的战士。
战役里没有掌声，但不可以让回忆不断的击败。

我多想把一切装入行李，转寄宇宙黑洞。

不，想带你，继续旅行。

Goodbye TARC, Hello SeGi

B

I Love You!
This is absolutely the best happening in 2009