Replay

这种时间想吃冰淇淋，是不是需要慰藉自己的借口？想你

我不知道发生了什么事。

我没有失忆，为什么有种记忆从很微妙脑容量里抽出来倒带。

自残是这样的吗？

Hey, It's me! The one you trying to forget.

记得要忘记。

沙堡

From A-Z I can tell you as many as I can with all the vocab I wish to share.

Life right now is so different, we're very similar when we are younger but as life moving on, I think it is ok for us to grow on different branches as I know we are still in the same roots . For those moments we embracing each other to grow by fulfilling the life with colours to paint on face, I am lucky to have you with me all the way back then till now.

For all the lies I had lied, I only come clean to you, cause deep down I know honesty is what I had devoted to us. Those supportive times we holding each other's painful spot and kick out ass to move on, it is so grateful to have someone to know my soul and read my mind. It is always you, the one I can count on, the one I dare to dare my soul to. The one I seek advice and the one I try to hold on so damn fucking tight not to let you fall. To gross you out, I always wish to kiss ur tears on your cheeks. It gross me out too. LOL

Ain't you think social networking is like building sandcastle by the shore? The moment you had your beautiful castle, you have to watch it being wash away. Then you build another one, some same sands from the old one, some are newly washed up to the shore. Upon you finishing it, there comes a fat dude stomps over, you are cursing it so hard but you still have to build it up again. Life never freeze a moment till the day we are done with the sandcastle, even it has gone.

You are always the little diamond I will put it back on the tallest tower of my castle.

未来？

When you are a kid, you wished so hard to be a man.

When you are a man, you wish so much to be a kid.

When you are a guy, you wish you know where to head.

The sun still rise, the day still go by. I stood and stare at myself, asking who am I? One step forward, there will be a whole new life, whole new experience in life to be needed to adapt, I have no option to step backward. Phases in life is like taking a small leap that keep on improving for the life I have been knowing so well, having the courage in heart to shield myself, knowing that I will meet some cute people along the way, peers that not yet know but ready to support my life like fireworks that paint the sky.

Unlike before, this leap I am going to take is like jump off an aeroplane with parachute carried, of course. Well, seems like I'm pretty safe right? When you are watching on the ground, you won't feel the fear. I can't precisely navigate where am I going to land, I can't safely step on ground if my parachute turns out to be a junk. I'm not feeling secure in between the plane and the ground, which makes me holds on to nothing.

Oh gross, by just trying to figure about it, headache strikes!

I will have mine!

Dirty Water

生命是一滩浑水。当我们看不清别人思维，我们会故意的模糊自己的灵魂。

一件事，让我对自己又在不断的衡量。很爱以自己的一把尺，往别人的身上度量，然后画勾打叉。做朋友的再错再不对也好，离开饭桌就不要为了帐单的几分钱算死一辈子的死草。对于身边真正在乎的人，我不是会变身的正义使者（。。。不然你死很久了），但我能做的事在他们被伤害时让他们好过点。如果安慰无法凑效，我丝毫不介意伤害，不害怕自己承担不起，即使会得到一句可笑的后果自负。

如果你问我，你这样做是图个什么？我诚实的答你，同理心。倘若有天我不幸了，那是否会有人同样的对待我？

倘若你今天觉得我做错了，你就说我错了吧。按着良心跟我笑，太委屈了。

身边有几个是你看清的？身边又有几个你摸不透的？那你是否有那种明明很清楚，却到头来什么都是最不懂的那个？

为何身边的人总会让你触碰他们的心底，到最后告知那是脚底。

It's A Liver Game

肝，我对不起您。。。

跟您玩了那么刺激性的游戏，是我不好。没有好好的照顾您。

答应您，过了这个人生转折点，我会对您有所负责。

所以也请您不要爆，再给我多几个夜晚，我保证。。。

Gecko Love

特别报道－我的胆儿于凌晨爆裂。

谢谢那可爱会跳的壁虎，跳上了我滑溜溜但是带点毛的手。

这是猫，不是那只会跳的壁虎。

最近肥了好多，而且那些肥油都很坚强。

所以当我感受胆儿爆裂的那一刻，

我的表情，动作。。。

其实跟那猫没有差多少。

小小声说：我喊了好大一声，手上的鸡皮疙瘩还没有退！

53 Years Of Independence

I have a tag with my name.

With it, you know I'm me,

Without it, I'm still me.

53rd Independence, We shall leave our tag behind and have a smiley on everybody.

Silently Secretly Dearly

第一次孤独的对着颇大的荧幕，忽略身边的陌生人。

很努力的感受气氛，被电影吸纳。

原来，一个人可以很专心的看电影。

一场梦，如果我能在你脑海里种下一个有我的未来，那我算不算欺骗了爱情？

听说所谓曾经回来了，

预言里，我说了晚安就好，真的不想再死在个会亮灯的窗户。

但愿我是个拥有自己灵魂的人

好让未来赞赏

虽然话说的那么好听，却又种歇斯底里的感觉。

拼了命的想要遇见，

却不懂要遇见的事什么。

那种盲目会让自己迷了路。

我害怕的事情很简单。

我可以寂寞，别让我觉得太寂寞。

然后由寂寞带来了孤单，不难应付。

只是别让我这孤单太可怕。其实我会想你们，在你们很忙的时候。

我默默地想念。

You Had Defined Lonely For Me

我不是个好的孩子，我更不会是个好的亲人。

二舅很寂寞的离开了。在医院，我看见了寂寞。 我想着他离开的前一刻，什么样的景色眏入眼帘，他看见了什么？ 他应该看见了孤单，痛苦与寂寞。 没有任何人懂他一个人承受的痛楚，他寂寞的闭上眼。没有妻女，子嫡在身边，没有兄弟姐妹陪伴，他是我对寂寞的解读。

我和二舅并没有感情可言，印象中都是大人们对他的抱怨。我对他怀念仅仅是停留在当年在我略懂事的时候抱着我拍了一张照片而已。我对他一直很习惯的忽略，一直忽略。。。有时甚至忘了我身边真的有个可以叫二舅的人。

有时候一些人的存在，我们都习以为常的认为那是理所当然的，而忽略了他们。当他们寂寞的离开后，我们却被千丝万缕的情绪抽痛着我们那仅有的回忆。

我无法谅解，大人们在他离开后的作出的某行为。大家在各自的生活圈子里，各自好好的扮演自己的角色，没有人是对的，没有人是绝对错的。有的人能有大条理由，有的人只能默默地活着。一家人，本是同一个阶梯，到后来却要大家臣服于你的威严。只有我做不到。

长大了，跟身边的人都疏远了，斟酌我们的一言一语。说太少会被误会，说太多会被讨厌，那到底最亲的你是否让我觉得最不熟悉？ 坦白带来宽容却伤害，伤害让我们不再坦白；隐瞒的初衷是不想伤害，到最后却最伤害。

我告诉自己很抱歉，让自己被看贬了。无法规循已安排的道路，破坏了国王游戏，只是我要建立自己的国土。我还在半途，持续打击看贬让我走的更踏实，即使跌倒了，我会骄傲。我知道我不做坏事，就是对的事。

有天，我会听见我的努力被赞扬。

I Would Love Wandering With You

流浪。

总有一天，我会拎起自己的背包去流浪。世界很大，渺小的我要用我的脚印在一个不属于自己的陌生地带。哪怕是一个渺小得地图无法记载的小地方，哪怕世界地图会是我相册的目录。我就是任性要流浪。

这个梦想。我认为我可以做到。

其实，我们在呼吸的每个片刻不也真真实实地在地球实践着生命的流浪。没有人知道终点，我们连提示都没有的在生命里流浪。挥撒着不安与焦虑，同时紧握希望与期盼。没有人知道前方的路会都康庄或蜿蜒，我穿着帆布鞋用生命来感受呼吸的快感。在陌生的国土，奔跑。

风，会把我的带到更多我意想不到的国度。它抚过我的发丝，带回我对家乡的思念。它轻抚我的脸庞，告诉我下一个停留的国度。我的人生，能错过多少事情？能后悔几次？我能做的只是拼命的跑，一直跑，逆着风也要很疯狂的跑，不在乎被吹乱的头发，追着自己想要看见的风景。幻想着我与梦想接触的瞬间，那微妙的联系让我的生命鼓胀得灿烂炸开。为自己盛开。

我要到一个大家都长得跟我不太一样的地方，学习他们简单的对话单词。吃着自己没有吃过的食物，好不好吃？不重要。不管我的绘画是好是烂的，我坚持给自己在停留的时间里画一幅画，带回或留下。 我带着有点复古的相机，透过小小的框框，我看见更辽阔的世界。不在意写实与否。任何我认为精彩的我都要看见，记得然后老时，用我限有的记忆力不断，不断，不断地回忆。

每一个不同的城市，我会寄三张明信片。第一张，给家人，给与分享，给与安心。第二张，给自己，给与回忆，给与生命。 第三张，给与朋友，给与参与，给与感触。

最后一个学期！

It is so jam and I'm gonna die!!!!

I seriously hate the traffic jam, and caused me late for the first day of the semester.

Poor Sharks

饮胜文化。

昨天去了一个不认识任何人的婚宴，除了身边的妈妈。入座如常的乱，上菜如常的迟，场面如常的冷。想起小时候，老师都很爱出作文。以婚宴为题的文章，免不了都是那三点，外加大家的吃相。总之，猛劁那些华人的陋习，然后以自己族群的短处，让教师给你高高的分数。

其实我并不爱去筹热闹，会有一种不自在，很烦躁地想要脱离那个场地。脱离不了，只好默默地不断信息身边的朋友贪图一些抽离的快感。人啊，越是身处热闹的场地，越显现出寂寞的个体，却不愿意融入。

台上的人快乐歌唱，新人快乐的结婚，来宾快乐的解馋。下次饮胜时记得大大声，长长气的给人家祝福。

对了，我在吃鱼翅汤羹时，想起了那些可爱的鲨鱼们。本来说想要拒吃那碗小小的鱼翅汤羹，后来再想深一层，那些可怜的鲨鱼们都壮烈牺牲了，如果不吃的话就会让可怜的它们白白的壮烈牺牲，死了都没有价值。拒吃并不会帮助到那些已被割下鱼翅的可爱鲨鱼们，所以我们最基本开始从菜单里把鱼翅汤羹删除吧！

人们啊，能不能别鲨鱼翅出现在婚宴里？心酸啊~

酷

Net hopping at 3a.m. seems like already a habit that root deep inside me.

Life been treating me well, tho it added in some spices along with this few months like my eyes, my great flu and my ankle. They all come lining up to visit me from April till yesterday but I think I had been too sunshine about my life. I just see those troubles as a little dust that I just have to wipe off and that's all.

Life best staying simple like this. I don't mind running alone, as long as the wind in treating me right, the sun is shining me warm and the scenes around me is cheering for me.

I think I'm Cooler than ever...

Save me from assignment, Save Mother-Nature.
Where's the love as cards promised me?

Nalulumbay

I'm depressed.

Who give a damn to the phone calls? I just don't feel like picking up, my things are shattered like a puzzle, and worst part is I have two of them mixed up together. Who cares?

I'm depressed.

Who give a damn to the listeners? The talker is talking to the dumb water, idiot tree holes, lousy caves, as the recanting make every syllabus of the words fight back. Who cares?

I'm depressed.

Who give a damn to the truth? As we are blindfolded, we walk on a folk. Three way up, another three way down. Up on sharp, you died a hole; down on slope, you died a silent note. Who cares?

I'm depressed.

Who give a damn to the lie? When the snowballs rolls, we are meant to be dead. One down, because another arise, yet to be drowned down to hell. Who would, if we deja-vu. Who would, if we are not educated that lie save life. Who cares?

I'm depressed.

Who give a damn to the love? When lust the ultimate form of love, it comes before love. Half of heart, half of hurt, we are player, we are saint. It is just a imaginary world. Gossip, cruel-some, betrayal, cheating is all part of the game. Who cares?

I'm depressed.

Who give a damn to the mood? When the music flows through your heart, it leaves mark. Either burn or bliss. I never get to say enough, to be said to you, the music hunted me down on the way chasing pavements. Who cares?

I'm depressed.

Who give a damn to the me? As I is a singular, indication for the loner, presenting one and only one. Great friends are complimentary, true heart to be dig out as bone and meant to be eat by the dogs. Who cares?

娘亲

It is always easier to say I love you to someone else than your family.

It is always easier to say I love you when you don't meant it at all.

I have been trying to say I love you to this women that technically created me with a man. I at least try it once a year, but so far I have not succeeded once. I'm still striving it.

Knowing that I have difficulty deliver it verbally, I'm still showing my gratitude in action.

Well, it involves my currency all the time.

It is her birthday, I couldn't do much. Buying her a dinner at cozy place is what I can afford in current. I bet she is happy. =)

I have not much to offer, but sometimes I will throw my temper and my unique attitude which I endowed from her to my dearest mum. Right? She is my creator.

Not much to say but I love you, still in action or in some place that she could never read it.

P/s : my mum have the same problems as me XD