This Is Not My Territory

Territory - Region, Area, Zone,Sector, Protectorate...

Im out of mental territory.. I cant really control those happening around me, especially those unhappy one, the effect are more obvious... I dunno where I belong to, I dunno where should I go, I dunno who I belong to, I dun like this kind of feeling.. but what can I do with it? izzit time for emo again? haha.. hopefully not..

I dunno how to interact with some of my friends anymore, especially the very very close one, yes is the one.. u get it? haha, now a days.. He go anywhere without me, When I ask him to go out with me.. He already there with friends.. ish.. I really dunno how to place myself, what to do? Now, Im thinking running away from home for a little moment...

In where I stay now, sometimes I felt that Im not belong to here anymore, like an EXTRA.. The feeling is suffocating me. In a way, Im treatening myself agian...

I dunno again, what am I to u? haha.. a friend or a foe? or just a stranger? You probably wont remember me one day..Everytime I think bout this, Im chickened, so much chicken.. buaks.. cockery cock.. bruaks bruaks... haiz..

I got a sucks haircut, there gone my longerie hair.. haiz, when it was long , I hope it short. Now it is short, I hopes that it is long.. what the fucking mind I have? I told the barber Hairstylist, cut it shorted abit, n it turned out he cut it short till left abit... Tears nearly splash out in the salon..

I cant control, Im out of my territory...

How do you cool your lips, after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat, after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes, from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice
You'd know anywhere?
Oh I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive, insensitive, insensitive
How do you numb your skin, after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood, after the body rush?
How do you free your soul, after you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?
Oh you probably won't remember me
It's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell to fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
How to be insensitive
Oh I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive

Insensitive by Jann Arden..

Maybe Im just too sensitive in everything, especially I felt loneliness, I will be even more sulking...

My Words, My Heart

To Your heart :

How should I make a start for u? the one in my life... haha, people says it is hard for u to find someone that u willing to spent ur life with, or even die for.. but yet, I found u.. but it is pretty hard for me. You asked me before, who is the one I admire? haha, I hint u very very obvious.. IT IS U.. haha..but when u ask me is that u ? haha, I tortoised.. haha, y ? Just because I know that u dont love me as much as I love u.. so I dun wan to make u feel stress, I dun wan to make trouble between both of us..

Few years back, when I first see u in school, haha.. I should say I stunned.. haha, u got me ? Stunned.. maybe it sounds stupid to u.. I used to wait u outside the bus stand.. haha.. I peep u.. who cares? haha no one care who I m peeping on.. I got over excited everytime u notice that Im looking at you.. haha, you really shine n glow in my eyes... I enjoy the time where Im sitting at the bus stop, and u standing behind for the shade, it give me a feeling that someone I love is always behind to support me.. duh.. it is just out of my imagination... and u dissapear right after Im form 5, u graduated. I thought I could never find u back...

I still remember how happy Im when I found u back, haha... I get to know u better, atleast I got a second chance... but too bad u told me that u cant believe in love anymore, I was so naive and stupid that believing I'm the one who could help u.. I should hit myself with the words W.T.F!!! U did a small romantic things on my 18 birthday... I was so darn happy, like a retarded.. u sent me a birthday mail.. duh, it is a small one but I nvr told u my birthday before. I asked u so many times how u could knew it? but it seems like remain a mystery forever. I tot everything will be going fine until the day we are going to live happily ever after, but I think I ruined it.. too many bugging, coz I see u no online for over 2 months.. I keep on giving u offline massage, I tot it should be a romantic or a touching act.. but it seems not to be like that, The only reply I get is DONT CONTACT ME ANYMORE, I couldn't believe it, I seriously cannot. It tooks me another 2 months to slowly believe it... I felt that I'm the extra one in ur life, u nvr knwo how many pieces my heart shattered off..

Upon I'm giving up those hopeless hope I have on u, u come back with ur HI. once agian I fall seriously back for u, or I should say I nvr been giving up.. now we are talking more than last time.. which I really glad about it... people say if u wanna get something, u should work hard on it.. how hard should I work ? haha, gods only know bout that.

You are going to Aus for study very very soon, you told me before that you wanna have a whole new life over there, u want to have ur career over there... Possibily, u dun wan to come back anymore. What am I gonna do with it? I take it agian, I dun wan to be the obstacle in ur life, my love it shouldn't be the things which hold u, or trouble... I dun wan to make u feel stress, I cant promise but I will do my best coz u are the one I met in this lifetime, I should treasure u as much as a king treasure his crown.

YOU ARE ALWAYS THE APPLE IN MY EYES.

from : My Heart

Movie Crazie on Feb

Feb 29th.. Eh.. KNN so special de day.. =.='''



I started it with vulgar.. tak tamadun la wei~haha.. last day of Feb, means my coll life is coming back in 2 days time... Im so not ready yet Im so bored over the holidays...(out of topic, swt!)... I had lots of movie on this holiday 5 of them .. intend to make it more, but failed jor.. haha.. so now Im making this as the last salute to my Feb 2008 once in a life time.. as if I would no longer here in March - sigh~



Kung Fu Dunk

Another Jay Chou movie.. Charline Choi the partner of one of the sex photo scandal heroin, Gillian...
I consume it(ate it?) ... I watch it after during Chinese New Year.. hahaha.. the 1st movie I have in Feb.. wakkaka.. The action was cool, but quite dried as well... Same old things from the Kung Fu Scoccer as Steven Chow nia.. act cool and nothing liao.. hahah.. overall I shall rate it 2.5/5..not good, but It doesn't bored me lots.. hahaha..

CJ7

Steven Chow is coming back with his brand new mind blowing movie... mind blowing??? haha... not at all, atleast for me.. Her god-daughter in the movie, talented as well as her acting is quite fine.. but the movie seems quite pointless to me...Izzit im stupid or what? when people laugh, I cant laugh coz I couldn't get the laughing point.. urgh~ Izzit Steven is out of new ideas? or he already have upgraded to another level which I cant reach him? who knows? Rating... 1/5..his fans shall killls me!!! but I really get bored inside..what to do leh?

Jumper

I watch it just right after I finished CJ7.. hahaha..kinda of insult to CJ7.. I get it interesting wo.. haha..maybe I m more into this kind of fantasy action? hahah..with powers that we normal one cant have one.. in dream? yes ofcoz, lots of impossible happen in dreams.. hahaha.. nice hero n heroin.. I mean how they look .. haha.. not how they act.. haha.. but actually their acting seems fine to me.. maybe I shouldn't go for cantonese movie next time.. I rate Jumper as 3.5/5.. haha.. obviously the 2nd great movie I had in Feb...

Step Up 2 The Street

watched it with my boi boi.. haha, Sherlzzz.. haha. she should be happy if she saw her girl girl share a piece of her over here. I LLL OOO VVV EEE Step Up 2.. it made me feel like wanna go learn street dance at the moment I watched the movie, nice musics, nice moves, nice charecters, good value.. haha, I cant see a point that I should reject watch it another time.. Im just so fall in love.. haha.. Anyone out there, u can date me if u wanna watch Step Up 2 .. haaha obviously I will rate it 4.5/5 .. haha.. 0.5 for improvement.. haha.. Love it!!!!

Vantage Point

The last movie I had in Feb, with Desmondos? haha.. I shall focus on movie not people.. the staring.. or should say the 1st half part of the movie boo-my-ass-away with its' technic.. really sucks.. repeat n repeat.. though is trying to show different ppl perspective on the happening over the assasination of American President.. haha.. pity him, got to die over 5 -6 times.. kena atleast 10-12 bullets.. wakakaka.. but the action was well packed on the later half of the movie..not a bad one overall.. hahah 3/5 .. my 3rd fav in Feb..

a colourful blog
-The End-

World War III

Hey hey hey, Hory is back for reporting the recent happening of it's own... hehe.. this is gonna be memorable *really?*.. erm... not really actually..haha.. good then let's kick a start with somehthing happy!

Call Me A Killer!

Just to be accurate.. I killed 9 mosquitos in one nite!! what a record of myself.. * booo by someone* ... Boo what boo? story started this way.. I was on MSN as usual at this late hour.. haha one little mosquitos keep on bugging me.. tho it is a bug.. but he doesnt have the right to kacau me rite? mayb Im sweet? So I ended his life with a marverlous clap , only a clap no S... * Smack * and he died so peacefully in my palm.. wakaka~ I wash my hand for the sake of hygienic.. haha.. n back to MSN for of course purpose.. It is wo weird that there is another one resting on my screen.. I intended to kill with my palm once agian.. but luck is not here anymore... It flee away, it prays hard .. it fly to the right handside.. I nvr care where he fly later.. but a second later when I turn to right look at my lovely handphone on the bad.. It dance gracefully on my bed *WHAT THE HECK?* , does a mosquito fly that fast? I dun care as well.. I dun wan make another sin by ending another life.. but my leg is itchy at the next minute? I think that they wanted to revenge for their beloved just lost relative or friend.. I realise that it is not less than 2 in my room.. n since u all wanna have war, I will have a big one with u bugs~ I go to the kitchen and bring the most poisonous bugspray Shelltok, that kills humans n bugs.. every single inches of my room at nicely sprayed with the smelly stupid perfume of them, I merely suffocate inside but the urge of killing conquer all !!! I dun have great confidence about the shelltok effectiveness.. so I did it agian.. RESULT are here.. few of them fly out with the goyang-goyang style.. wakaka.. the HAND OF ALL EVIL & KINDNESS are here for them.. I whack them off.. I think that time their mortality rate is 5... haha .. I observe for them .. no one coming out? Shelltok agian , and agian.. I showered with it!!! wakakak... now u guys out there wont kill me with it!! I'm immune * cough* cough* the things repeated for I think 5 -6 rounds which means nearly a quater of the Shelltok habis~ haha.. Mortality rate or the MosQ March is 8.. included the very 1st one I slaped the TOTAL = 9.. wohhohohoh~

then I went to bath.. haha.. the shelltok really make me feel irritating and stink.. blek ~

p/s : the time I have the World War III in my room is 2.29am *noted*

REPORT TO CNN if u see this.. it is shocking n important~

Photo as Prove

THE HAND OF EVIL AND GOOD SAKE/ KINDNESS

SEE IT? TOTAL IS STILL 6...

BEFORE I ENDED THE WAR.. BEFORE THE LAST CALL
DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DO ~

PEACE! SAY CHEESE!!

TOTAL MORTALITY RATE OF THE MOSQ MARCH = 9 ( ONE WASHED WAY, NOT IN PHOTO, PITY)

斗鱼

斗鱼 by 元卫觉醒... recently crazy bout their songs.. haha~ hope people enjoy it as much as Im

鸵鸟

你说不爱了
于是我就承担
不问我心里想的是相反

阳光很灿烂
我却笑不出来
他让我看清楚你已离开

我忍着悲伤和无奈
就躲在房间不出来
无法阻挡时间在快转

只能把爱藏在回忆深海
不想面对的是学着习惯成自然
我会把爱隐藏到谁都看不出来
它还在继续却与你无关

那动人完美的独白
没说完你就先离开
就算遗憾我也不推翻

这不是鸵鸟的心态
只是我还无法释怀
我还爱你再不会说出来

只能让爱离开回忆深海
不想面对的是只能学着习惯成自然
对你的爱寂寞让我却还在依赖
你要的幸福却与我无关

Not written by me.. is written by 元卫觉醒.. nice song nice lyric.. will post up the song.. not so soon.. haha.. but this song I would like to dedicate to myself... hope you will listen to it too.. if only u will.. what should I do next?

第十曲：醒梦

总是怀疑我的心，是否真的很爱你。
总是怀疑你的心，是否会爱上自己。
对着你的影子，呆呆的发愣
心头一直想着，如果我加上你
现在的我们会是怎么样
这个夜晚又在没有睡眠的情况下梦着你，
梦着一个不能梦境成真的梦。

如果有一天，我不会再有能力去等待告诉他
一切关于我对他的感觉，感情时
请你帮我告诉他，曾经有一个人
很很很喜欢他。。。
现在只剩下你，唯一跟他有关联了。。。没有别的了。。。

17/8/07

后记：委托的人不断的想把我从梦里给抽出来。。。 很想告诉你，让我美梦下去吧。。 谢谢你！还有你，谢谢你的存在。。。

第九曲: 我们的歌

Song Nine, Our Song

Our Song,我们的歌。。。
现在是凌晨三点钟，
我打着强灯，让我在孤独的舞台上显得更孤单，
想哼着一首我们的歌，才发现我哼不出声。
看着台下，又一个预留的空位，
那名观众却不知到我给他预留了一个位置，
最好的位置。
这首歌我不肯定我一定能唱好，但我一定用我的最好去唱
可是你却不知道你有没有在听？

幸福不容易，可是却不困难
想着你却是一种
痛苦的幸福
而且我这样的爱着你
也很幸福了，虽然我并不满足。

我恳请你快点出现好吗？
后果好或不好
想给你一句
其实我很喜欢你

28/7/07

后记: 我对你的喜欢对你的爱。。。 都一直在徘徊在让不让你知道之间。。。

第八曲：水。空气。太阳

我对你的情感似水，
水般透明，是因为你并不察觉它的存在。
水般重要，我很想让你觉得没了我，你会痛苦。
水，如果是我，你会需要我。

空气，无形无味，比起水，
空气来得更多，虽然不被察觉。
我会无时无刻的在你身边
我并不介意这个短暂的忽略。。。

太阳，我想能给你提供力量，勇气
为你照路，让你的生命有了我会有灿烂的阳光。。。

说了那么多，我只是希望真的有一天会成为你的什么。。。
什么都好。

p/s ；惦记你的一天
19/7/07

后记：现在的我。。。只希望你离开以后会不小心的想起我。。。

第七曲：对你的依赖

7th Track~

依赖，依靠
是我想对你做的两件事，凡事问问你-依赖; 凡事都想有你陪-依靠

不知道是否对你的眷恋太过于浓厚，
渐渐的开始依靠幻想与幻觉来跟你接触
渐渐的我开始依赖这种感觉来感受你。
开始对你有依恋了。

总是习惯了，睡前想你一点点，一直想到睡着，
这样的夜虽然煎熬可是却有一种，一整夜你都在我身边的感觉。。。

我真怕，我对你的情感有一天让你发现，会是你的负担。。。
但矛盾的我，同时期待你发现这个人对你的感觉。。。

现在的你在做什么呢？
有没有好好的？
会不会想起我这个无聊人? 不会吧？
祝你快乐

18/7/07

后记：我看我想你想到怪怪的。。。 我会努力控制不去让你知道，你快要离开了。。。我不可以是负担，我的喜欢不可以是累赘。

第六曲：幻想爱

Track 6 -Love of lusion-

我得了对你的幻想爱
无时无刻的幻想你的出现
幻想你的陪伴
幻想你的味道
幻想你的言语
可是你为什么只是幻想？
真正实在的陪伴，我感受得到
真正实在的味道，我嗅得到
真正实在的言语，我听得到
都是在幻想几时成真我只能期待。。。
希望有机会，回忆，感受，拥有着你的陪伴，你的味道，你的言语
你的拥抱
你的疼惜
你的爱
你的我
我的你
我不单单只要幻想，我认了，我贪心。。。

17/7/07

后记：很多时候，好像都是仅仅幻想而已。。。 你却源源不绝的提供给我幻想下去的泉源。。。

Hory's Perspective

Yup.. I thought I had giving up blogging over here. Why ? the answer is damn simple, coz I cant blog in Chinese. This point had make me feel like so meaningless to blog. Agian, another why? English can bring out what I mean as well, but not as well as Chinese. Chinese words seriously can represent my feelings better than any form of whatever... haha~ but yet, the pity thing is I got to blog in english for this while as I dunno what happended to my comp, and I still not so willing to reformat it, so I got to bare with the consequences that cannot blog in Chinese.. Hory nag alot.. he is a old whore who like to repeat n repeat boring stuff...

Chinese New Year had come to the tail part.. end soon.. as I used 2 different days to finish up this.. kinda of lacking ideas recently.. During this still on going Chinese New Year.. I go back home as well.. but this year is a little harder than before for me.. Im sick on the 29th of the Lunar Calender... until now Im still attached with the cough *cough* *cough**cough*.. the 11th of New Year of the Lunar Calender.. I sicked one year appX.. wtf? *blurp*

Same old house , same old ppl.. different attitude.. this year I kinda of taking ppl as they are transperant to me.. I choose not to see those who will make me feel not good... I closed up my ears for those words that will irritate me... I choose cliped my my lips to those I dun wish to talk much~ yup.. I do feel more relax that way... atleast I dun have to make myself shitty with those unecessary negetive feeling... Im happy for my ownself not for others.. but I do felt sorry for my mom.. I can nvr speak well to her.. even I wanted to.. I seriously wonder.. izzit we had to crash n crush each other then only we can live? hard to think... I'll try my best to understand u .. hopefully u will be doing it oso... both of us are strong head ppl.. with sturburn monkey ass...

Back to the thingy I interested the most recently.. hooho.. Edison Chan Sex Photo Scandal~ You might think that why Im writting it as well? haha.. that's why my title is Hory's Perspective... I do felt pity for those who involve in the case.. n yet I feel so weird to those ppl who keep on blaming them for having those photo.. HEY PPL ! HOW IF ONE DAY U SEE ANOTHER SIMILAR PHOTOS UP THERE, BUT IS NOT TAKEN BY CELEB.. haiya.. normal porno pic nia ma.. I think this whould be what u think.. human being are just like to 'mengheboh heboh'.. just because they are famous so izzit that they can have sex? OMG... we are selfish~ But I do understand some ppl say that Edison is 'To Sui Gah' he causes those celebS having a hard time now but padan that he causes the leakages.. haha.. he have SEX WITH DIFFERENT GIRLS.. so ? It his choice to have sex ma.. samo I think sex is something give n take.. if no one willing to give? how he can get it? so ? now izzit those ppl reacted to loud on that happening is becoz that they are jealous n do not have the chances to have sex with their goddess celebs? n jealous that Edison can have them all.. and keep photo as souvinour? I bet if u have a chance to fuck any celeb.. u would take down some pic to show off gua? for more detials n informations.. pls refer to ... http://www.thegutterpost.blogspot.com/

By the way, pilihan raya that comes 5 years once.. had conquer the newspapers.. those rapist, mudered case as not as important as the pilihan raya.. ppl should only cares about the pilihan raya only meh? .. if u ppl do ur job all the time... y now must 'mengheboh heboh' agian leh? Im not saying that pilihan raya is not important.. who will win? semua orang tau-tau la~ just that I already 'muak' seeing those faces appear on the headlines.. but those real headlines hilang bersih-bersih~ haiz~ it is my perspective agian~

Many ppl will think that my thinking is so terpesong ad.. haha.. who cares? *blurp*

~My perspective is mine~

Anyone Who Had A Heart

Atomic Kitten Is Back with their new single - Anyone Who Had A Heart

HeartBreak X3

2 post in a day.. the productivity was a good one... lots of craps to pour over here.. and so sucks than my comp cant type in chinese... (y? i dunno y)... But I can sure that my mood is damn not fine..


I hate being treat like a stuff.. something that got no right to choose but being compare n choose.. but I cant help it even I dislike it, it happens so often .. twice in a month time.. be accurate- less than a month...

what to do? life are getting more n more downward sloping as I come to the end of the lunar calender of the Piggy.. should be getting better de ma... y so fuck up de? my mind is so mess up until ? I cant be clear what should I say... I cant function well... give a list to check up all the problems... or else no one would understand what im mumbling bout.. included me, myself...

1) Heartbreak over J* is worsening... I wonder why.. saffocating...
2)Feel so hopeless over having a nice relationship in 2008... like now.. no one is beside me.. those who understand me cannot understand me as well as before.. am I the one who closing up my mind n heart? I got a feeling like ppl around me keep on lying to me.. cheating over me..
3)I easily get jealous recently... might be cause by what I want I cant have... or not deserve to have
4)HJ is leaving M'sia to go after good life... me? haha.. not worth to be in the memory.. upset...
5)My comp.. one of my best companion.. has come to the twilight days... time to reborn..
6) I cant type chinese... y? ask my comp la.. I cant blog la..
7) Streamyx connection got problem? or my comp got problem? or IM THE PROBLEM?
8) Exam time.. heartbreak + comp down + dissapointment.. how to study?
9)A GREAT THANKS TO MISS NG WHO LIKE TO MESS UP WITH ME... SWC with or without me ? same nia...
10) IM SICK...

if I going to complain .. I can make up an infinity list of it.. lifes get me tired n worthlesss.....

heartbreak heartbreak heartbreak... )(*&*%^%#$%&^&*

~FUCK IT ALL OUT~

Bad Things Does Happen Always

Weee~ apa mau cakap now? haha... now only I started to believe the phrase

THE MORE HOPES U PUT INTO, THE MORE DISSAPOINTMENT U WILL GET

highlight to see the phrase above

my resolution are stated down there... I wish it happen all the time when I was awake or asleep ( honestly, it is just almost...). But I think reality is still a reality.. dream so much for what? got money meh?

Y am I saying such things? haha.... let kick a start from the movies I had watched in cinema recently.. the duo...

CLOVERFIELD.. I was so expecting that Im going to get a good movie with my friends, before I bring myself in the cinema. I seriously cant describe my feeling with words after watching it... should be the worst movie I ever watch.. Want me to decribe the movie? SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE like the end of the world...until me n my friends get so dizzy watching it and need to rush home for rest... the movie just making us feel sick.. no plot , no story just shake...OH YA! nearly forget.. on the half way we enjoying the shaking, the classic one.. the films cought on fire and we need to be waited for 30 minutes to continue the shakey movie.. no refund, no apologize, no drinks while we are waiting... good? 1st hope falls

BY THE NAME OF THE KING... was a second movie i watch in the past week, just after the day I enjoyed the shakey movie... I have high hopes on it before I watched it, coz I always enjoy those movie which got some magics like NARNIA or LORD OF THE RING S.. fantasy fantasy.... I get BORED in the cinema, 2 hours of the movie seems like 2 century long... I keep on have the feeling of ' am I in here for 2 hours only meh? It seems like more than that ad wo' hahaha... my friends keep on watching his watch n handphone instead of the screen... we nearly split our saliva to the screen..when we see the action n those fantasy charecters... is like WOW.. copied from where where where... isn't it familiar like the what what what... Gallion fighting n Krugs are sucks inside out... 2nd hope falls

DO check my resolution below, did u see the 3rd resolution? hahaa... it is the 1st to fall me off.. fast n furious man~ merely get choaked because of relationshipS.. hahaha.. put a words that can describe myself the best 'BITCH'.. after the lesson on Christmas n New Year Eve ( thanks to W*) .. today I faced 2 at 1 time neh~ how geng... J* n H* thanks for teaching me 'time n tides wait for no man' , u missed it.. haha ur problem lo, cry oso 'no road use' ad lo... so what I can advice is.. dun ' tiao geh' means dun jual mahal, when ppl ask you to be their lover, dun think , dun 'tiao geh' and said let it flow naturally or let me know u better... I can assure u, u will be MIA ( missed in action) in the next moment... offer urself fast, dont think... sms them call them even u still got a few cents in ur hp... it is worth more than a few cents.. take it serious, contact the one in ur heart after reading this, ur wish will be granted.. hahahah my 3rd n 4th hope falls...

I think it must be the curse I put on myself causes this, no new relationship before I finish carried out my promise.. only myself know what is that curse... swt lo...