Sunday, 31 May 2009

Used To Be In Love

男孩失恋了,她的小手不再是他牵起的
奈斯失恋了,宝贝不再是他给的小名
她失恋了,她狂哭缺得不到肩膀
他也失恋了,他牵着下一个快乐的旅行
你失恋了,你复元了,开始过着朋友的生活
我也失恋了,我开始慢慢地笑了,开始陪着你们笑着

三个月多了,似乎天气也必须晴朗了吧?
三个多月前,我做了某人的借镜,让她看见了她自己
拍拍肩头上的尘土,其实我还有更多需要我去烦恼的

No, I told you this ain't true
I used to be in love
In every angle, you have been my angel
I trusted you, so both of us clipped our wings
The bow I used to tied every night
The lips I used taste every kiss

Now the curtain has been pulled down
We both revealed the truth of love
Naked but unbearable
You makes sunshine, you makes rainbow
How am I suppose to know
You brought in those
Raindrops and thunder at night
It is loud and pain

You faked those clip on your wing
Like you planned to see me fall

No, I told you this ain't true
I used to be in love
In every angle, you have been my angel
I trusted you, so both of us clipped our wings
The bow I used to tied every night
The lips I used taste every kiss

Now I think I cling to the used to be
They left me so deep in the dark
But hell cares?

I'm just a angel without wings
I torched up the every single little happiness I have with me

No, I should not care a cent
Who are you? What did you want me to be?
So what's your evil attitude when you got me spending my time pleasing you?
Baby here I draw a line, I think I'm done

朋友,我快乐了。
谢谢你,you should know I'm responding to you :)

Monday, 25 May 2009

How Much It Is When We Tagged It Priceless

It is the third time I involved in Orientation Week.

Unlike the 1st time, I joined the week as a fresh man, enjoyed the games and everything prepared by the college. It was fun though.

Unlike the 2nd time, I joined the week as a committee, I used to design the booklet for freshman, I fight with the officer, and much lousy but daring stuff I protested. I do remember I am a judge of variety show semi-final in DK B, and I used to stamps the freshman and student leaders during the Telematch, and I got my self a face full of stamping. I used to deal with many during the Orientation week, Club House for the stamping, Clubs and Societies for their advertisement and introduction. It was fun yet it was tiring.

This is the 3rd time.
I wanted to just have fun or loiter around to see how the juniors perform their MAGIC, and later on they said they got not enough people for helpers. Well, I can be a helper...

Seeing them sweep and swap the post every week, giving comments and ideas, trying to help them to sort out everything. Seeing them filling this hole and having another one empty, it was so hilarious, I know I shouldn't makes fun of it. Ends up, I heard that Eason is not coming back and they lack of one Course Marshall, and my itchy mouth came out with something that pulled myself into deep black hole, Quoted "Maybe I might be able to help if only you people can't find anyone" and just right after that line, Laze told me that he need no to get another person anymore, I'm in deep shit!

Urgh~ Never mind... I suck up with it... As I remembered both legends seems so free and enjoyable during last Orientation Week...

Dang!!! I was wrong!

Student Leader Training Camp Day 1...
Yawn~ accompanied Fish whole damn night to complete her booklet, and disturbing her with those from 20 until pregnancy until mother until grandmother questions to make her frustrated with me.

Meeting up with those Student Leaders wanna-be, is definitely fun. I don't show excitement on my face as I am so tired playing with Fish the night before... Just Blame her for whatever! Seeing them running around the college, have the short-of-oxygen faces, makes me giggles inside. Ice breaking was spectacular, and a guy leave a damn craving deep impression to me, King, when he use his ass to write. I was on the way to laugh my jaw away.

Then we seperate them into groups, easier to lead and make it more real like an orientation. I still remember the groups name, Doraemon, The One, Fire Wolf, Wanted, Chili Sauce, Conquer, Cheese, Lucky-7. Each of the team are required to think of a slogan.

There comes the time I need to bring half of them to campus tour, walking around the college, try to explain each and every buildings' name and functions. It is tiring though and I remembered I gave out a wrong info, it was the time of Study Room. After marching around the college compound, we back for the chicken rice lunch, erk~

then goes the introduction of committees, speech by Ms. Ng and Xian Lynn and let those Student Leaders wanna-be to discuss about their variety show. There goes the Situation Challenging designed by me to torture them. It is just some simple situation that those Student Leaders will encounter with during the Orientation Week, with the great acting of Wuang Ching, It is definitely a bonus.

Student Leader Training Camp Day 2...
I still can't reconize any faces and remember any name, only a few having a slight image in my brain. I'm sorry.

It is a raining day, Sports was reschedualed to the third day. Packing of Orientation Kits have to moved up and they, Student Leaders have to pack it. I laughed wickedly deep inside, dare not laugh out loud, scared being whack. Seeing them packing so hard, so fast and with passion, it definately a feeling of joy~ Yeah, I don't have to do it~

I need to place those stocks accordingly to four respective registra places, DK A , DK B, LB1 , LB3. Funny things happen when this bunch of passionate guys starting to run with those orientation kits boxes to LB1 while I only assigned 7 of the boxes must be in there, but I saw 11 running boxes... Scary!!! They really Lan-Li!

Then ma grouping, slogan time... Cheers arghh!! Cheers argghhh!!! Then eat chicken rice... wakakaka~ Then they starts for their Station Game, the mini Telematch for them, but hack! They complained that is too easy and lame... bunch of ego people! and they want something challenging for the upcoming Treasure Hunt! They got Yang Chuan nerves! hahaha... We ronda around the college, thinking of wicked ideas to torture them, and god! there are so many things that I first saw in College! Damn for the two years! After setting those drafts and places.. We head back.. there's the end of second day! Tiring like hell!

Student Leader Training Camp Day 3...
Wasted half of the night having fun on planning Campus Tour and drawing those hints for the Treasure Hunt, we are so wicked in doing so, we laugh, we imagine their faces when searching for the clues...

I don't involve much in sports, as I know they are just playing with Basket Bola, and Tugs of War. Instead of eating those Ultra Ungu, I go around with Yang Chuan to perform wicked treat. Hiding those clues on here and there is fun especially we when think that those Student Leader's faces when they seeking for those papers... It was so funny when we try to place the 12/6 o'clock clue, Yang Chuan and me was attack by mosquitoSSSSSS~~~ WE RUN FOR OUR LIFE!!! THERE GOT ZILLIONS OF IT!

After the fried rice lunch... yeah... compared to Chicken Rice, It is so damn delicious!!!

There we go for it! TREASURE HUNT!!!

I'm one of the clue , 1cm... hahahaha... Doraemon scratch their head for seeking me, they don't know what is 1cm! Actually the 1cm represent 2 things, 1st: I am 1cm near them, which I'm so near that they can't even notice. 2nd: 1 Course Marshall = 1cm~ Great Thanks to them that molested me just for the clue at foyer. If my future partner found out, how am I suppose to live my life with such a shame?

But hell, We won the game! Thanks to the devilish Laze who keep the clue deep inside the dirty broom. No Student Leaders Wanna-be found it, we all are so glad and happy about it, and they say today are challenging and fun! Fu Fit neh~

after the Treasure Hunt, we gave some motivation to them and shuffle them then split them half and equal and we formed the Orientation Week 2009/2010 team, SBS VS SOT.

Well well well, I'm a Course Marshall of SOT, so we take the movie names as out theme mean while SBS got the famous cities name.
Coming Soon
Matrix
Resident Evil
Blade
Click
Yes Man
IP Man
Ong Bak
Power Kids
House
Star Wars
The Ring
Uninvited
Scary Movie
Knowing
Mamma Mia
The Mummy
Ice Age
Harry Potter
Titanic

Every Student Leaders Wanna-be has now promoted to the Official Student Leaders of Orientation Week 2009/10 :) Congratulations!

A short meeting with them, decided Me, Hory Hor will be worrying about their flag material as well as SBS. Whoopssss~ Wuang Ching was hijacked by her sis back to hometown, and the brave on set to came back once she reach hometown! Bravo.

After the Student Leaders Training Camp, I have no time to take rest but have to bath and go for cloth seeking, as well as the paint, makes me think of last year Orientation Nite sickness! Gosh! irritating! But hells, all the shop are closed at 9pm, can u imagine how lazy Penang people are when you needed them? sigh... I got no choice but to go Church Street Bar, to have snow beer , chills awhile with Tor right before we went to get Wuang Ching at Jetty and went back to Tanjung Bungah and sleep...

Sunday, 170509
A day before Orientation, as usual custom Student Leaders only get to design the flag and name tags for their freshmen. After rushing here and there with Wuang Ching and Tor to get the cloth and others equipments, it has already 1pm in the afternoon when we get back to TARC area. It has totally changed my plan which is starting at 9am, finish the work at 6pm. Haiz, nevermind... Life is meant to be hard. After getting all of the things done, have a few words to them and distributing some work and I must go home to change all the cloths and pants. If I don't do so, I will be running naked consequently on the five days of Orientation. I had to do some shopping for them as well.

It is quite rush for me, even though I just wanna chill awhile at home. What I did at home was, dump all the dirty shirts and underwear to do laundry, at the same time I eat and online. Worst is I had to speed dry all my underwear with hairdryer if not I will have to run around the college with the clock tick-tocking~ whee~ which I definitely don't wish to.

When I leave them, It was about 5pm. The moment I saw them again it is about 9pm. Well then , I got to go on with those flags that they just wanted to start with. Painting and drawing with bunch of great people are damn fun tho it is damn fucking tiring. By just doing those things, we getting closer to each others, we seems like preparing for a great fight tomorrow morning, and the best part is we are all so excited over it.

It is 6 in the morning that we finally done everything, and orientation starts at 7am.. wohooo.. Am so excited yet so dead... go back changed to black formal, and heading to college again...

Orientation Week, 180509
Yeah! It is the 1st day of Orientation Week. I dragged myself to college, waiting for Student Leaders to gather at Foyer and have a final rundown of today activities, I try to give some motivation, but I gotta admit my motivation skills sucks! It sucks big time! After that, we lead some of them to duty before they get to meet the freshman. I was in charge of LB1 for Collection of Kits, and I gathered them both LB1 and LB3, gave some briefing about how to distribute, and wait for our Chairperson to pass me those freshman list so that we can take attendance. It has been a long time waiting... I strongly complaint about the name tag we have this year, handwritten. It is so joking funny! After seeing those cute freshman taking their kits, guiding them to toilet ask them to change to the so called uniform and gather in CA for Mass Call. It is confusing when those officers having problems with each others, they tend to direct us in their own way, and ends up miss-communication happens. Don't show us the face when we did something wrong because of the direction you all gave is unclear and misleading.

Seeing the CA door is still tightly closed at 8.30am, wow... 1st in the history. They having rehearsal in there. Wow, Miss Lee got guts to leave those freshman under the hot sun while she having her own sweet grumpy show in CA. Nice and smooth. Dear Miss Lee, please do not act professional while you are not so professional in it, you disgusted me.

I do not enter the hall for the bloody Mass Call as it would be so boring. I ends up checking stocks of the kits and gather the Student Leaders for the grouping sessions. Which happens to the freshman are divided into groups according to the number that we stick on their hand. SBS headed for Campus Tour direct from CA, which SOT get to have lunch first then only Campus Tour, which I can say it is a mess. I got to rush door by door to ask whether they had took their lunch boxes? Had they prepared to go for Campus Tour? How was the Ice-breaking going on? and those time guide for Campus Tour just ran messy, and we just got to suck up with it. Ends up some of the group didn't get to tour the whole college, some of them didn't get to have pleasure lunch. I was trying to heat up the Ice Breaking session from class to class, I do skipped some. It was fun! I can play with them whatever I wish to~ wheeee~

Rushing and running in a building ain't fun at all, I'm all sweaty. Half way of the Campus Tour, which the time for Workshop: Intro to Tertiary Education, I got to run real fast to stop those half way touring groups and ask them to go for the talk! Boring boring boring talk! yet it is a compulsory. Plus this year Office Politic leads the CCB attendance taking and makes us got to be there 15 minutes earlier to have those freshman bloody name ticked. I wish I could blink, or teleport in college!

Upon finishing the talk, they get to have sometime back in class for packing and preparation for Variety Show Preliminary Round. Then they leave to Foyer and Cheers Cheers Cheers ~~~ then go home.

p/s: I forget to set the dress code for SOT in second day~ they can be colourful~ :P

I was like a dead fish after the 1st day, I can't really feel my legs and I am so sleepy... Back to Tor's hostel, bath then nap like a pig... by 11pm.. wheee.. head to our base which is Eng Lim (Coming Soon) hostel to discuss how to nail down SBS by tomorrow. Talk and discuss until 2 something then we dismiss, back hostel.. pengsan~

Orientation Week, 190509
It is day number 2, wake up at 7a.m with a dead fish look. Flushed myself with cold water, which is damn refreshing!! Geared up with the SWC T-shirt this year.. erm.. no comment~ running to college with my Kenari Babe~ The 1st thing 1st I stepped in to college was, I need to go class by class, staircase by staircase! OH GOSH!! I need to check them out~ sigh~ 8.15a.m, blowing the bloody squeaky whistle, rushing them to foyer prepare for the Fresh & Fit, exercise ah~ pity~ after the nice dance from Danzity, we dismiss the freshman, ask them to go for their Course Briefing on their own as they already know the location, Whee...

We are so free from 9.45a.m until 11.30a.m but hells, we got to have meetings with Student Leaders, there is no such things called as break time, relax time in Orientation Week.

We have to squeeze the time for preparation of Variety Show and Lunch and make it for us to meet all the freshman in person, asking them to cheer louder~ Cheer Louder~ CHEER LOUDER~ then ? go Foyer lo... go Foyer for what leh? Cheer ah~ Cheer ah~

Then go for Telematch with the RED & GREEN stripes on FACE~

While those Student Leaders bringing their chicks around playing Telematch, I got to go ronda around the college and to make sure that things go accordingly, eleh~ since when it will go accordingly? Just make sure it is still fine will do. Walk and walk and walk, I felt so pity to myself, is like I got to patrolize the college for 100 times. But but but... I had great fun at the Flour Ping Pong Blowing Counter~ I play with the Knowing and Coming Soon~ Both teams done their best and won it with my hardwork of cheering for them~~ So touch when the Knowing says :" Love You Too, Hory~" awww.. how sweet~

After loiter around the college with my legs barely feeling the ground, it is time to gather the freshman in the Foyer and do what next? Cheer ah Cheer ah Cheer ah~~ so happy that today we nailed down SBS by an inch. A few words of mine to the freshman for tomorrow Treasure Hunt and Blue and Red dress code. Ciaoz~ See you people tomorrow.

Hostel then Bath then accidentally nap till like pig! I mean accidentally!!! then go around the college area, house by house, team by team to give them support on their preparation for the Preliminaray Variety Show, I don't futher comment on how they perform... I stayed quite long at Knowing Team... *blush* I try to teach them how to dance sexy... haha.. I got to admit that i dance far more sexy than the lady that supposingly to dance in the show~ I'm so bad that I laughed at her movement and called her 'Wiper'.

By 11.30p.m> move the base... meeting ar meeting~ so sleepy yet still need to meeting~ meet until 2 something, then go back hostel and have a light shower, drop on sofa, dang! fainted!

Orientation Week, 200509
3rd day liao 3rd day liao~ Whole body sakit due to the sofa... i place the six pieces into 1 and make it my bed, while I asleep... they slipped away one by one... ends up only one is supporting me on my back.. others 5 are surrounding me... what a cold cold night~

Reach college, then? Ronda bilik lo... haiz... then when it is time for Variety Show, whistle again lo~ Rush them to their own venue, rush myself to set up the venue, prepare seats for the judges, pity pity ~ I wish I could split like an amoeba... I'm the marks calculator, sigh... the judges of LB1 is Miss Alicia, one of my favourite lecturer, Mr.Moo See Fouw and besties Cindy... Overall performance was not that bad, especially credit to Titanic, Knowing, Harry Potter and others. Mr. Moo was in love with Miss Womenizer. Grace o Grace~ Lanli~

Then lunch time le....eat ah eat ah~ They eat ah~ I ronda class a~ then by 12.45p.m~ whistle~ piiiii~~~ all gather at Foyer, Cheer ah ~ Cheer ah~ then go in CA for Briefing by Administrative Staff, and while the briefing is going on, we do what? we meeting outside CA lo...whatelse? After some words of mine, lame motivation and rules of Treasure Hunt, then I leave the meeting to the Commander to continue with it lo...

After the Briefing, It is Treasure Hunt Time!!!

I joined a team name 100plus, group member are : Wen Khang, Laze, Cindy, See Fouw, Wuang Ching, Tortoise, Yang Chuan and ME!!! all of us carry a 100plus with us while we have all 4 King Flag with us while we ronda the college~ So Fun So Fun~~ after a few rounds walking in college which is killing for 4 of the Course Marshall... We decided to park at Foyer, and the best part is 4 of us all fall asleep at Foyer's table and chairs together... hundred of freshman witness the style of their beloved Course Marshall~~ haha.. no shame no shame~ The moment I open my eyes... I was like.. wah ... so many people looking at us.. hahaha

After they gathered Foyer after the Treasure Hunt, then ma Cheers ah Cheers ah Cheers ah~ Tomorrow every SOT fresh man will be wearing White~ wheee.. it is sport day~

We SWC, Student Leaders and Helpers will have the 1st review meeting in DKC... shouldn't it be carry out everyday? hahaha... solve this solve that... explain this, complain that... question this and confess feelings~ then go home~ tonight meeting at 10.30p.m again ah~~~ it is killing!!!!

Bath > Nap > Ronda House >Rush to meeting~ wheee~ some of them started to plan their finale show... Meeting time~ everything seems ok ok lo... slogan slogan again... tonight seems abit different as I had some different mind with Tor and leads to some beh syoik... I moved down to Wuang Ching house to sleep on BED~ wheee.. Tomorrow will be just another tiring day~

Orientation Week, 210509
Wake up.. well it is abit late yet it is quite tiring... it is day 4 of the Orientation. Went up to bath and change at Tor place and go college, ronda class T.T...at 8.30a.m gathered all the Freshman at Foyer~ early early Cheer ah ~ Cheer ah~ Cheer ah~~ then? Go Sports Competition lo...

During Sports Competition, we Course Marshall are going to in charge of the stamping on booklet... hehe... last year was my duty... I get to eat fried beehon in canteen... haha so hungry de... Half way, we were shocked by the way they disqualify, so we decided to stand up. Trying to fix the problem with our loud loud voice... Running around to call up those team that suppose to be on spot for games, it should be understandable as they are short of freshman to be on spot waiting, they need to make it more flexible. sigh~ after running here and there shouting for teams... yeah~ I got squeaky voice~ upon the sport is going to end, freshman can back to class and have their lunch and rest and prepare to Variety Show Finale as well as some briefing on cheers~~ we are so damn busy~ again, I wish I was an amoeba, split in to several Hories~

After done their lunch and done the briefing, then they gathered in foyer again for? Cheer ah ~ Cheer ah~ mad de...then? line up... go in to CA and have the Introduction To Society, which is also my previous year job... whee... after placing them into CA.. Student Leaders have a short meeting out there then back inside and relax with the air condition provided by college which is so damn cold. Most of us take nap, take pictures inside... hahaha... and there go a sms strike and I had a conflict with Tor... sigh~ with some chat with Cindy and others.. things got fixed, luckily.

After the boring errmm.. not so interesting show of society of TARC... we called end of they day, and of course with the loud loud loud mad mad mad cheers~~~~ then go home~

As usual, we have SOT meeting outside then go on to DKC for review meeting then hostel, bath then direct to ronda house to help out on finale Variety Show le... It is tiring to practice together with them yet it is so touching seeing them acting so hard to win... I respect you people~ Ice Age group seems to have a marvelous idea~ it is about ghost and love story but after I scaring them abit, they changed it to monster story... but is for their good, due to my experiences on last year Orientation Nite. Titanic was too early to finish their practice, Harry Potter need no to worry about them, Matrix as well, Power Kids got Kent to take care off, I am not so good to place my hand in it, so I go for Knowing to dance with them once again ~Wheee~~~

Then we go for meeting and discuss about the formation of cheering and prepare for props for Finale Variety Show... I go collect the empty boxes from several shops and tell lies to cheat those unused boxes.. haha together with Eilynn. We gag all along the way.. which is quite fun... I helped some and sneak into my car and take nap for 15 minutes... after all, we fight till 4 in the morning upon finishing those props for Variety Show... dang I'm so dead~ It was a more fun night compared to the flaggies night maybe we had been closer now and have more to talk about and fun for sure.

Upon dragged my exhausted body reach hostel, I bath in sleeping mode then take a rest.

Orientation Week, 210509
It is the last day of the week, I got a feeling of relief. I put on the blue formal of Tortoise pretend that it is black, and best part is... We both overslept on the last day of the Orientation Week, thinking back the panic us waking up from dreamland face are funny, funny and funny...

We promised to be in college at 7.30a.m to help out the last rehearsal of them but hell, we wake up on 7.45a.m and when we reach college with sleepy face is already 8.30a.m...

After those rondaan without miss, then SBS had to go for On-line Resources briefing while SOT have to be practicing their finale show, but those who are not involved are leaded to canteen for board gaming and chit-chat photographing... within half an hour, SOT turn to go briefing and SBS give me big aeroplane in canteen and left those board games in canteen, I went insane for a second when I found out that, sorry to Yang Chuan that I sounds irri on the phone~ haha...

After the briefing, they head back to classroom for lunch and some grabbing the last minutes for practice purpose. I walk around collecting extras lunch boxes and see see look look...

By 12noon, the hen got to chase those chicks into CA for the finale show~ whee.. so excited about it. After settling them, and knowing the judge would be Miss Ng, Mr. Chee Moh Herng and 2 remain unknown ladies in college, then I set off to running around and enjoying myself in CA , after all the last day would be the less pressure day..

We all had some purple cloth tied up on Student Leaders' head and pink cloth for me and Tor resembling the SOT. I laughed at those Student Leaders that they look like rushing to cook, all make up like housewives and househubbies. We took photos, we gag... I nearly fall asleep....

After show, we had those things called as Introduction Of Committees, which is been expecting and I get so excited about it.... but this year really let me down lo... compared to last year, where we have thunders clapping, hot music, cheering, vibrate,style and wind when we walk all the way to stage one by one... this year, we hardly hear some claps... sigh.. so tak supportive.

Before proceed to the result announcing round, we need to have our finale SOT vs SBS battle of Cheers and Slogan~~~ Cheers ah ~ Cheers AH~ CHEERS AH~~~~~ I stand on the chair, waving our beloved king flag~ HIGH SPIRIT, LOUD SPEAKER VOICE.... WE CCCCCHHHHHEEEEERRRRRSSSSSSS~~~~

SOT won the BEST STUDENT LEADER : ALAN OH
SOT won the BEST TEAM : CP's HARRY POTTER
SOT won don't know what sports ad....

SBS won the overall champion ... sigh

"After all, the things we won with every of us, is the friends that is now sitting beside you, and we are all as one, as are the TARCIAN ",quoted LAZE AND SEE FOUW~

After sending back the freshman, Student Leaders and Commeettess are kind of released from the heavy heavy stress... and all of us start those extreme act like VIBRATE!!!! THROW INTO THE POND!!!

I got wet and bruise after they dipped me into the water... sigh kids now a days....

I would like to end the Orientation Week Post at here, it has been the 3rd times I got myself into this game, yet it still keep bringing me suprise and memories that I couldn't find somewhere else, I believe when I read back this in the future I would have the big smile on my face remembering each and every of it.

Like the title itself: how much it is when we tagged it as PRICELESS?

I heart everyone, everymoment, every single little encounter and experience I have in Orientation Week 2009/10.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Pre-Orientation Stress Makes Us Sky High


video

The phone booth will hit us! Don't Prank!

video

Phone are invented to communicate, when you don't talk over ther phone
THE PHONE WILL TALK TO YOU!
...
...
...
...
...
When a normal day in bank turn abnormal...

video

When the robber turn crazy
it is scarily crazy

video

=The End=

Dear fellow actors and actresses, I am coming to stay with you all!!
Will be away for organizing Orientation Week again!
Happy Happy

Stay tune after I'm back!
more great videos coming ahead!

Monday, 11 May 2009

If There Is A Miracle

I wonder. Am I making a bad move for not forwarding but deleted all those cursed messages that had been sent to me? Am I making a bad move of ignoring the curse that stated so clearly that will strikes back badly one day on me, or the person around me?

Here I pen down my prayer to god, which is the 1st time. I ask for a miracle or two, maybe three, I need them by now at one shot. Call me greedy, call me short-sighted.

My portrayed dream. I was an artist, painting his own picture at a cliff, drawing the sea with sparks and sky with puffy white clouds. It is a wonderful evening, the sun is going to dived in the ocean, the gloomy yellowish sky and the breeze are stroking hopes into my body and make me feel so alive, while my love one are sitting beside me reading a book. We staying in the city, having my own car, my own house and with some debts to pay back the bank. Living my day as an artist, drawing my happiness and life on a piece of white paper, sharing my day with loves one, surrounded by friends and family. Last but not least, I am studying marketing by now.

I'm 20 years old by now, I wonder should I address myself a kid, or an adult? I am in between, I think. This is the ever 1st time I felt so useless in my life, I can't make a decision for myself.

I seriously doubt about myself, wonder should I move on or should I cling with what I'm by now? Mom said that she is so disappointed with me, as she know that I'm not sure whether I'm going to KL or not to further my study, as my cousin already in there preparing for her study. Once again I'm being compared, and make her ashamed. Due to my resit papers, I need to wait until the graduate list is out then only I will know whether am I entitled to be enroll in KL campus or not. Blame me on my laziness, blame on those poor time management of mine, but not the passion I had with me on those activities that I participated.

There are times that I enjoyed my life and seeing great person, working with them, sharing the laughter and memory in life.

Tomorrow , Mom will go to hospital to have her MRI scan and to confirm the tumor inside her body. She called up and ask me go home earlier to discuss with her about my studies and others.

I don't have a clear mind by now, where should I go? What is coming up next? What else I need to gave up?

I think I need to make an option for my own.

Saturday, 2 May 2009

Labu Labu Story

在电台听了个故事,很有意思。  

在一个岛上, 住着快乐悲伤愤怒智慧时间富有贫穷。。。等我们所熟悉的。他们在岛上各自生活,相安无事,日子太平。

有一天,他们发现他们所住的岛开始慢慢的往下沉了。他们也开始修筑船只,准备离开这个岛。只有,还默默的守着那个岛,不愿离开。每当被问起:“为什么还不准备离开这个快要没顶的岛呢?” 总是淡淡地回答:“我要守候岛至最后一刻。”

终于,大家都离开了,岛也在一分钟内要消失了。开始寻求别人的帮助,要离开再也守不住的岛了。

看见快乐的船, 大声地喊:“快乐快乐!能不能载我一同离开?” 快乐实在是没有办法听见的呼唤,只懂的沉醉在那份愉悦的心情里头,什么事都看不清,听不到了。快乐的船离开了

听见了哭声,回头一看,发现了悲伤正一边流泪一边划着船。也向悲伤求救,可是悲伤却没有要理睬的意思。悲伤被负面的情绪埋没了,世界是黑暗的,无声的,也理所当然的忽视了

后来遇上了愤怒,可是愤怒的眼里怎么会有呢?又被拒绝了。 

看见富有在他那艘最大的船上,尽情的享受着堆满的钱,物质。想说:“那么大艘船,应该有个小位置给我吧?” 当他开口问了富有:“我没有船,你可以顺便带我离开吗?我保真不会贪图你的财物。” 结果,富有想也没想就拒绝了:“为什么我要带你离开?你没钱修筑船的话,就和贫穷一样死在海里吧!免得弄脏我的船!”

是的,贫穷很可怜啊!没钱修筑他的船,结果在第一天就死在海里了。

一直不断地被拒绝,也快要放弃了,想说不然就和贫穷一起死死去,算了。就在快要没顶的时候,有一位长者默默的把拉了起来,让他坐在有点破烂却还是安全的船上带他离开。很感激长者对他的宽容,没有说他懒惰不修筑船,不嫌弃他,不忽略他。很想跟长者聊天,可是长者总是默默地望着远方,很沉寂。 

靠岸了,长者默默的离开。非常仰慕长者,四处去探听他的消息,想知道那位好心的长者是什么人。后来,他终于在最敬佩的智慧老人口中得知带他离开岛的长者是时间,也只有时间智慧才懂得珍惜

是会替你守护到最后一刻,才会放手的人,
有时并不是他愿意,而是他绝望了,没有办法前进了。

快乐的人,看不懂,他们只活在欢乐当中。
悲伤的人,看不到,他们的双眼被眼泪蒙蔽。
愤怒的人,心没有,他们眼里的火把了。
富有的人,会拒绝,他们害怕会分享与带走他们所拥有的一切。
贫穷的人,遇不见,他们在生活里盲目地追逐富有的脚步,错过了,却永远都变不成富有
懂得在时间里消化,智慧里成长的人,才是懂得珍惜
时间智慧的孩子,分享却成了的永恒。

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昨天我的心情真得很差,其实我伪装的还不错的。一直到被问起:“上个学期你考试的时候很幸福哦,这个学期好吗?” 我听了很想哭。明明我打包好的东西,为什么你要倒出来让我看见呢?

我最近要烦的太多了。钱没了,要怎样升学呢?我还能毕业吗?我的喉咙又不时地在痛,妈妈的身体又有状况。 妈跟我说:“把书读好,快点出来工作,我都计划 好在你毕业后要做什么了。”我听了很压力,不懂怎么办才好。感觉我会打乱妈妈的计划。我很慌很乱,却又感到什么也做不到,等死的感觉。 

我懂我很烂,所以我烂到在车里又哭了。车好像是唯一我很能诚实的面对自己的空间,回到阿姨家,还是要笑笑的,免得他们为我担心。 

5月1号,劳动节快乐
妈妈生日快乐,身体健康。