Thursday, 25 June 2009

距离

When you walk into the check point of your dream, I smells the memories we shares.
We are distanced by the sea, but we are still sharing the dreams, the future, the passion and the friendship.

You came into my life when I am a timid little boy trying hard to fix myself into the environment, together we really shared those years growing together. Seeing you set your own wings, prepared to fly on itself, as a soul mate of mine, there I blessed you with all my wishes. You have a wonderful journey.

I remember the time, we walk under the rain, kicking water all the way back home, about 2km we shared the rain.

I remember the time, we took bus together at 8am to Prangin Mall and until 10.30am we took bus home.

I remember the time, when I need to walk home and you ride your bicycle to accompany me home, we shared the sun and the sweat.

I remember the time , when I first drove my car alone, you are the passenger. We drove all the way long to Queensbay.

I remember the time, when we were so bored, we took RM50 and have a random bbq at beach, we do it without consider much.

I remember the time, when you are the only friend that go beach with me and we catch fishes and crabs to put into a water bottle, I added some shells in it and we shake it without realize that those fishes and crabs are blended. Cruel... sigh

I remember the time, we use to talk in tuition class, screamed by tutor.

I remember the time, when the malay guy handsome was dropped on the floor and blame me for dropping it, you were the one who stand behind me to pull me away from punching him.

I remember the time, you are the always the one who accompany me to do sinful business, the time we pour water on others peoples school bags, mess others people drawers, tear our classmate books.

I remember the time, when I am so bored and down which we both called it hormone imbalance, we both used those idiotic ways to cheer up.

I remember the time, when we give a ride to each other to no where, what we care is the time we talk in car, not talking about those serious stuff.. we just simply bullshit to make each other happy.

I remember, you are always the very very very very important friend of mine, you are always always the very best friend of mine.

There are more than words to speak out how much I love you, how much I'm gonna miss you...

You fly high in another world, that had me wishing over here.

We are distanced, but our heart keeps us together.

Abusively Broke

I NEED MONEY~
OFFICIALLY LEFT

RM 1 in my pocket

RM 1 in my handphone's credit balance

Petrol - Red Light Blinking~

I wonder I can survive until when?

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

A Care At A Balance Point Is Essential

最近和她的关系只能以差来形容。 可能是我的耐性不好或是怎样的,总是对她的关心感到厌烦,腻倦。

已经有一段时间没有和她吵架了,总觉得吵架解决不了问题。在她的面前,我变得更加寡言,笑容更加的欠奉。 总是有种感觉就是,我每天都过着差不多的生活,也没什么好报告的。况且,我也不是那种什么事都一定会讲的,反正我能把事情做好就对了。每天问着我那种重复性问题,回答了,她也不明白,然后我必须解释我的回答,然后再解释我所解释的,我很讨厌这种沟通的模式。

关心的表现对我来说,很简单就好。一句今天过得怎样?好不好?吃了没?就已经很足够了。适当及配合对方个性的关心其实很重要吧?我不是那种需要别人完完全全融入,了解我生活,我会觉得被侵犯而且有种不被尊重的感觉。

她最近的关心让我讨厌的原因是我总会听出那种不信任的感觉。
打个比喻,
这题数学你会吗?
会吧?不会的话我会问人的。。。
你要问谁?
问朋友啦。。
问哪个朋友?
班上的同学,你不认识的啦。。
他会的吗?
会啦。。
为什么你不要问老师呢?
老师不会管,他们都没有时间见我们。
不然你去问XX啦,她比较厉害。。。
你懂XX跟我读得不一样吗?你又知道她比较厉害?
她的成绩比较好。。
她给你看她的成绩啊?这种事情,我懂得自己去解决
我这样做是关心你,你可以不要用这种语气吗? 。。。。

我不要吵架,所以我选择安静,不去理会她的谬论。她又开始吵吵闹闹的说起那些我不关心她啦,我给她脸色看,没有关心,不能体谅她的话。。。 真得很烦!!!

不关心她的话,为什么还要见她?知道她身体不好,为什么还要花钱买保健品给她?

给她脸色看?我不笑或者没有表情的时候,我的脸就是这个样子,难道她今天才发现?还是她希望我是一个小丑?无时无刻必须跟她笑?

缺少关心?不是有问她有什么事吗?过得怎样?难不成,我还要逐天逐个问?她有事情想要说的,难道就一定要我问了才能说啊?我在听啊,可是有的抱怨,我真的没有办法帮她解决的,只能听她说,叫她看开一点或者给点意见而已。难道她说不喜欢谁谁谁,我就要把那个谁谁谁砍死啊?

什么叫体谅?你说那些事情和人把她弄得很辛苦,我又不谅解她。 那些事情和人,一直都存在,也不是什么第一天发生的事情,她也没有办法好好地去解决,也没有办法解决了,那也只能这样啊。 我也不是神仙,除了听了一百遍,又再一百遍。。。难道我也需要每天在她的耳边一直念,不能毕业,怎么办?怎么办?怎么办?那种烦,很令人讨厌。。。

我跟她的沟通的桥梁一直在沦陷,我也不再喜欢争吵,可是觉得少了争吵,沟通却又不再是那么的良好,至少在吵架时会把那种真正想说的呐喊出来。以前那些:“你根本都不了解我,那你凭什么讲我”的重话,虽然感觉上好像很伤人,我却觉得有一定的程度会让对方反思,也会让自己后悔。。。

可是我却不再想要吵,她爱怎样说,怎样去想是她的事。。。 是我的思想独立?仰或沟通真的出了问题?

这样下去,我以后要怎么照顾她?

最近都在幻想,以后有能力了,买了间屋子,装潢成我最喜欢的家。下班回家后,舒舒服服听音乐,在天台看书,自己下厨,偶尔出门狂欢,邀约朋友回家开派队, 到处背包旅行, 有时就和朋友出海,结伴旅行, 跟朋友嘻嘻哈哈的,自己过着我想要的生活,没有家庭压力,没有生活的负担,自己也只为自己的快乐活着。。。我很喜欢Anthony Tan生活的那种自由的追逐或许会孤单,但应该不会寂寞, 我总觉得一个人最自在。 在facebook玩了一个心理测验 ,我是个适合独居的人,思想不喜欢被束缚。
我的家



以后的我



很自私的我,没有把她纳入的生活。

Domestic Abuse Are Bad

I always get very upset whenever I know there are domestic abuse cases, those who conduct the crime should send to hell and burn for eternally...

but why? Why does it happen to a kind hearted person like me?

This is the prove! This is the evidence!



Help me out! I'm suffering the pain of domestic abuse... I'm the victim.
Do not turn away from me, some one call 999 please, help me out from this violent that no one should be suffering in...

my left hand is accidentally abused by my right thumb 4 times in 3 days ... sigh...

Monday, 15 June 2009

Notice

There are something that I should had long posted up here about the Orientation Week that I involved again this year. I used nearly a month to get it done, blame my laziness, blame my DNA~

Link :http://myhoryme.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-much-it-is-when-we-tagged-it.html

It is a damn long post with grandmama and grandpapa stories... Don't bother to click if you scared.

But hell, I am going to add up a few pic here and a video :)


Do not bother to spot where am I, Just LOVING it too much


Rape Case: Mangsa: Hory, Pemangsa: Wuang Ching


4 dead Course Marshall in Foyer showing their sleep style to freshman.


Some Cute Committees


SOT Student Leaders' Steamboat Night

video
Wuang Ching got SMACKED!!!!

Friday, 5 June 2009

04/06/09

A Happy Day :)

It has been quite sometime

We Chill, We Chat, We Laugh, We Fun

Thanks guy, all of you brought in a shine of rainbow for me today.


=Rainbow=

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

中途

六月
这座城市是忧郁的
就如我也是

来到这年头的中途了
坦白说
我一点也不喜欢这一年

一月,让我遇见爱情,看见彩虹的美好
让我体会激情,快乐,欢愉
那种分享的果实
让我误会了爱情是神圣的

二月,让我遇见了爱情,
爱情的堡垒,一夜崩塌
你们说,短暂的烟火
到底值不值得纪念?
原来爱情啊,只不过是好玩的游戏

三月,看见镜子里的我,原来不是我
很反思的一段日子
猛着告诉自己
要快乐,要微笑
其实我猛着忙着骗自己,也只不过是个笨蛋

四月,虚伪的快乐也是一种快乐
该庆祝的也庆祝了
狂欢后,也大病了一场
病完了,就去考场冲刺
其实我啊,一点冲劲都没有,可是我真得很努力很努力了

五月,人生原来就是那么的一回事
好多烦恼,好充实,好多选择,好多泪水
在我站在分岔路的时候,原来我不能前进
无奈原来就是那么的一回事
人啊,就是不断地面对,面对失败后,在来的也只不过拾起勇气再面对

六月了
中途我可以放弃吗?
心很累,都不懂自己要怎么样的?
我喜欢了一个人
可是
无奈了,算了,反正我也不是谁,也不会怎样
把快乐献给不快乐的你
把陪伴送给寂寞得你
我情愿是个路人,至少我少了一种东西叫做伤害

我又要往前奔跑了
虽然现在还只滞留在原点
相信我还跑得动