Thursday, 20 March 2008

This Is Not My Territory

Territory - Region, Area, Zone,Sector, Protectorate...

Im out of mental territory.. I cant really control those happening around me, especially those unhappy one, the effect are more obvious... I dunno where I belong to, I dunno where should I go, I dunno who I belong to, I dun like this kind of feeling.. but what can I do with it? izzit time for emo again? haha.. hopefully not..

I dunno how to interact with some of my friends anymore, especially the very very close one, yes is the one.. u get it? haha, now a days.. He go anywhere without me, When I ask him to go out with me.. He already there with friends.. ish.. I really dunno how to place myself, what to do? Now, Im thinking running away from home for a little moment...

In where I stay now, sometimes I felt that Im not belong to here anymore, like an EXTRA.. The feeling is suffocating me. In a way, Im treatening myself agian...

I dunno again, what am I to u? haha.. a friend or a foe? or just a stranger? You probably wont remember me one day..Everytime I think bout this, Im chickened, so much chicken.. buaks.. cockery cock.. bruaks bruaks... haiz..

I got a sucks haircut, there gone my longerie hair.. haiz, when it was long , I hope it short. Now it is short, I hopes that it is long.. what the fucking mind I have? I told the barber Hairstylist, cut it shorted abit, n it turned out he cut it short till left abit... Tears nearly splash out in the salon..

I cant control, Im out of my territory...

How do you cool your lips, after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat, after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes, from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice
You'd know anywhere?
Oh I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive, insensitive, insensitive
How do you numb your skin, after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood, after the body rush?
How do you free your soul, after you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?
Oh you probably won't remember me
It's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell to fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
How to be insensitive
Oh I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive


Insensitive by Jann Arden..

Maybe Im just too sensitive in everything, especially I felt loneliness, I will be even more sulking...



1 comment:

R E I said...

hey there. i found your blog from somewhere, dunnowhere. i've read your blog and its very brave u confront your feelings like u did.

and i'm so sorry for your loss.

you say that he's the apple in your eye.

but remember when an apple die, it leaves many seeds and through these seeds, new apples from grow from them.

through an ending, only then new life can begin ;)

hang in there, my friend, while your seed grows...